Page 40 of Tears of Gold

"Well, your memories are slowly coming back. You might remember more later.”

We enter a shadowed dorm bedroom, and Skye flicks on the light. A large wall hanging painted with a beautiful azure river flowing out of mountains and bordered by grasses and birds hangs on the wall over a single bed. On the opposite wall, black words in a foreign but beautifully cursive script dance across a piece of fabric pinned up in a scroll shape. I’ve never been in Skye’s room before.

“Are you cold?” he asks, draping his arms over my chest and hugging me.

I nod and snuggle back into him. “Getting warmer,” I whisper.

Chuckling, he wrestles the covers back and lies down with me in the bed. He seals us in with the blankets, cocooning me in warmth.

“I’m not sure I know which way is up anymore,” I murmur.

“Want to talk about it? I’m a pretty good listener.” His strong arms tighten around me reassuringly.

I reach up to cradle his slim chin, then bring my lips to his. This is where I belong but also somewhere else. I feel split in two—or three. My stomach seethes as I think of what happened with Harper. I’m going to have to tell Skye what happened. And Erritt.

“I miss Erritt,” I whisper.

“Will he be okay, Skye?”

“We’ll see.” I don’t like the dullness in his voice. Is Erritt really in trouble in his own palace? Skye pulls me onto his chest. “But we were talking about you, remember?”

I nuzzle back into his neck. I’m glad he doesn’t want to rush into anything now. It’s been a turbulent night. “I . . . I kissed Harper.” In a rush of honesty, I add, “And I showered with him and nearly did more.” Tears leak from my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Skye strokes my hair gently. “Did you know we were your boyfriends?”

I shake my head. “No. I think it’s what made me remember everything. I got so confused. His face, well, he looked broken. But I felt so betrayed when I remembered Harper and how we knew each other.”

Skye’s warm breath whuffles through my hair. “Because he knew you were with Erritt and me before you lost your memory?”

My brow scrunches. “I think it was more because I remembered that he kidnapped me. That was the first thing that came to mind.”

“Ah. Do you remember forgiving him and becoming friends since?”

I swallow around a lump in my throat. “Yeah, I did after. But I also realized he didn’t want me to remember you.”

“That sounds just like the rogue, trying to steal our girl.” Skye exhales. “Well, maybe you’ll be able to forgive him again. I can’t blame Harper for trying things with you; you’re irresistible. We are talking about the guy who chased you all the way here from Earth.”

I rise up on my elbow to look at him. “I’m mad at you too. Why didn’t you tell me we were dating?”

He winces. “Humans don’t handle qi intrusion well, and when you returned to us, your mind was fragile. Sesun and Vanrey both said it was badly bruised and if we pushed you to remember things, it could worsen, and you might not recover at all.”

Pain streaks Skye's usually jovial face as he reaches out to brush his knuckles across my jaw. “Every time you tried to remember something, you got headaches and we didn’t want to hurt you more, so we agreed not to mention it. Plus, you were so wary of Erritt and me, we weren’t sure you’d believe us. It hurt a lot to pretend.”

I drop my head onto his chest with a groan, and he strokes the back of my neck.

“Were we wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

I’m not sure what to make of that because my heart is a total mess, and I don’t think things would have gotten so messed up if they had at least given me some hints.

My memories of Harper bounce between the brutal way we met and all our good interactions since. It’s not as if I don’t like him, and I’m attracted to him. I press my fingers to my mouth, remembering how he tasted as we kissed.

Now that my memories align better, I remember how he’s protected and cared for me, so much that he feels like a piece of me, and I don’t know how to handle the intensity of those feelings when he’s not my boyfriend. Can I love a man who kidnapped me, who tried to steal me away from my boyfriends? And is he truly interested in me, or was that a ploy to get in my pants? I press my hand to my chest as my heart pangs, unhappy with the stress load.

Skye breaks the long silence. “If you were single, I mean, if me and Erritt weren’t in the picture, would you feel the same way about what happened with Harper tonight?”

“No, I would have gone all the way with him—” I catch what I’m saying and stop, biting on my lip. “Well, I can’t be sure because I got really upset remembering the kidnapping.”