Page 59 of Tears of Gold

The pager dings again. Why?

I roll my lip through my teeth. Is this an opening? My fingers race across the keys. I’m on the oval now, and Rita’s giving me a headache with her griping. Damn, now it just sounds like a bodyguard thing. Should I have said I want to talk to him?

I’ll be there in ten.

An excited spark zaps through me, followed by a spike of nerves. Now I need to figure out what I want to say to him. There’s no point sitting around on wet grass, so I start a slow lap, alternating walking and jogging, and by the time I’ve done a second lap, I see him walking down the hill. As I come within speaking distance, he runs a hand through his curls, the familiar gesture sending a thrill flaring in my heart. His chocolate curls have grown long enough to hang in his eyes and drape against his neck.

My belly tightens as he looks at me. “Hi,” I say, and it comes out as a whisper.

“Hi, Ava.” His Adam’s apple bobs hard.

Rita comes puffing up behind me. “Thank fuck! Does this mean I can leave?”

“Yep, no one wants to see that weird-ass wobble you call a jog around here.” Harper jerks his head behind him, telling Rita to piss off. She pokes her tongue out at him and takes off.

“Um.” I suddenly feel very exposed and the words I’ve been planning turn tail and disappear like Rita. I wrap my hands around myself and ask, “Do you need to warm up?”

He shakes his head and starts walking. “Nah, I’m not going to run today. But I’ll hang around.”

I steal a glance at him, but he doesn’t look my way. He’s wearing long sleeves that cling to the solid curves of his arm muscles, and I can’t help remembering how they were wrapped around me a few nights ago, not just when we made out but also protectively as we fled the bombings. I need to fix things, but the words are static in my brain. I can’t work out how to say anything meaningful.

What’s the point in saying I like him but can’t be with him because I already have two boyfriends? Harper and Erritt are fire and tinder—they barely tolerate each other. And do I want to apologize for almost having sex?

“Have you got cramps or somethin’?”

I blink, jolted out of my train of thought. “Huh?”

“You look like you’re in pain.”

“Oh, no.”

“Then, are you going to start running?” He stretches one arm out, indicating the open oval.

“Right.” I forgot Harper doesn’t mess around when it comes to exercise. Shooting another look his way, I break into a jog. I wish I had some of Skye’s ability to read people’s emotions since this would be so much easier if a touch of his arm could tell me if he can’t stand the sight of me or if he’s ready to forgive me.

“Widen that stride, mouse,” Harper’s voice trails after me.

With a grimace, I stretch out my pace. At least there are no other students around to witness. The impact of my shoes on the ground strikes a beat through my swaying body, and cool air whistles through my mouth. The brushing sound of my shoes across the grass sounds louder in the quiet air, leaving tracks in the moist lawn.

In these moments, I can almost forget that I’m stranded on another planet; as if after this run, I’ll swing up the porch steps and bound through the door to greet Mom. Dad will be leaving for work at the local college. Mom will be brewing a fresh batch of kombucha and calling for Ryan to get up for the fourth time.

Does Mom light incense to the ancestors to keep me safe? Harper left them a message saying I was alive, but how much hope does that give them? Time here runs six times slower than on Earth and I’ve been here over three months, so I’ve been missing for a year and a half back home.

Maybe I should’ve taken Harper’s offer some time ago to return to Earth by gate hopping across the different realms, but something tells me it’s a bad idea.

Now that I have my memory back, I can’t bear to leave Skye and Erritt.

Does that mean I’ll never go home?

My feet stop moving at the thought, and I shake my head to clear the doubts. No, Erritt is a royal prince. He won’t be mine to love for long. There are always arranged marriages or marriages of state in these situations, and Erritt is no exception. One day he’ll be headed down an aisle hand in hand with an elemental noble, probably Mera Al Xi, stepping far out of my reach. My throat constricts at the thought.

Not to mention his dad is a purist. I’m a human in a world that thinks little of my species and no human blood will ever be permitted to taint that bloodline.

Do they keep concubines? I choke on the idea. I better simply enjoy what I have now and not question it too much. Skye’s in the same boat as me. Maybe he and I will have to be together alone once Erritt finishes at the academy.

The sight of Erritt, pale and sweating with pain on his bed, sends fear crawling up my spine. Can we let him go, knowing his brother waits for him at the palace? Better to fake his death and run away. Maybe Earth would be a better place for all of us, without the elemental supremacy burden on our backs.

My eyes widen and I suck in a deep breath of sun-warmed air. Would that be a solid plan? Maybe Harper would know. He’s a sneaky fish, after all. But would he want to help after what’s been going on?