Page 151 of Knot So Social

My cheeks burn and I slap playfully at his shoulder. “Go get dry.”

“Yes, Signora.” His eyes sparkle as he takes my hand and kisses the back of it, leaving a trace of his scent on my skin.

Joel opens the door to let him out, and then closes it behind him.

I suck in a deep breath, and he does the same, a heartbeat behind me.

“Is it that bad, being locked in a room with me?” I tease.

“What? Fuck no,” he says. Instantly he twitches. “Ah, sorry, I mean, hell no.”

His scent takes on a stringent, burned note. It hits me that this alpha’s even more nervous than I am.

“You can swear in front of me, Joel.”

“Really?” He twists his hands together. “It doesn’t offend you or . . . put you off?”

“No. I’d rather know who you are up front. Finding out you’re someone different later . . .” My stomach twists with memory. “That would really suck.”

“I’m not even sure who I really am right now, Willow. I’ve fucked up in all sorts of ways.” His voice breaks.

Joel slouches against the wall and tips his head right back. Not long ago, he tackled a trained security officer to keep me safe, but now he seems so lost. And his previous question tells me he’s trying to pick his words based on what others want to hear.

Maybe we’re more alike than I thought.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.

Joel looks at me with tortured eyes, as if he’s waiting to spill his soul but something holds him back.

I pat the bean bag beside me, making the filling rustle. “Come on, alpha. Why don’t you start with why you left yesterday? I’ve been worried ever since that I offended you.”

“Offended? Of course not.” He jerks away from the wall and comes over, squeezing onto the beanbag beside me. It’s not really big enough for two to fit like this, so he ends up leaning way off the end.

We giggle and he moves to the other bag, pushing it close enough so we can hold hands.

“So,” I say once he’s settled. “If I didn’t offend you, what’s wrong?”

He looks up, his hazel eyes full of melted emotion. “I’m scared, Willow. Scared shitless, to be honest. Jeremy has feelings for you, and I don’t want this, us, to get in the way of that. I ruined things for him once—I never want that to happen again.”

I nod slowly, processing.

“The thing is, I just got out of a bad relationship.” Joel links our fingers, playing gently. “We were even engaged, and I’m a mess right now. We broke up about a week ago, but after meeting you yesterday, I went back there—”

A sharp pang runs through me, but he’s still talking.

“—went back to collect my stuff. And make sure she understood clearly that we were done.” He smiles sadly and reaches out to tickle Jock’s leg. “And pick up this monster.”

I stare at our joined fingers. Wow, I really misjudged this scenario. I had no idea he was going through something that difficult. Here I was freaking out over the sudden scent match, but how much more shocking would this be for a man going through a break up?

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, diving my fingers deeper and squeezing his hand.

“None of this is your fault, but thank you.” When he glances up, his eyes glimmer with tears. “I just wanted you to know why I left yesterday. It has nothing to do with not wanting you.”

“Which you do?”

“Fuck, Willow. Can you really not tell? I—” He chokes and covers his face with one hand.

“You what?” I coax, needing to hear it in his own words instead of assuming.