Page 9 of Plain Sight

Lily’s going to come back. I might not make it. If I can’t find her soon, or at least get my heart to slow down, then I’m just as screwed as she is.

Mason would go full-on Protective Dad Mode if I leap into traffic with tachycardia, so I stay in my seat.

Crowded sidewalks. Storefronts with awnings. Blocks go by at a crawl. How can it be so close to the cathedral and so outrageously far? It’s like the drive to get Lily after she went back home. Looking for her between the coffee shop and the dry cleaner. I catch myself looking for the shine of her red hair twice, then three times, then remind myself that she wouldn’t be obvious because of her hair, she’d be obvious because of her wedding dress.

Unless she’s not wearing it anymore. Unless the person who took her knew that the white gown would make her too distinctive and forced her to change out of it.

They had to balance that with the time they had to get away, and it wasn’t long. It can’t have been long. It only felt like I was standing at the front of the cathedral for a decade, and Sunshine saw her before then. Hades carried Robin the Baby back and forth from our room to the bridal suite.

Lily’s existence isn’t in question, but in the back of the car, it sure as fuck feels like it. Like I could have hallucinated all of this, and nobody was brave enough to tell me.

The people in the car would tell me. At least one of them. She’s real, and I haven’t lost her for good. I’ve only lost her temporarily.

My palms burn with how hard I shook that prick at the cathedral. I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. What I should feel guilty about is letting Lily out of my sight. But that’s what happens when you look away. Turn your head, and your whole fucking life is burning down. Convince yourself that you have nothing to worry about, and your parents are dead and your brother’s ready to follow them.

Jamie.

“No,” I say.

The SUV jerks. Mason, braking.

“What?” he says, his eyes on mine in the rearview mirror. “Do I need to turn around?”

“Don’t turn around.”

“We’re almost there.” One of his hands is visible on the wheel. His knuckles get whiter. Hades says something to him. He answers. Every hair on the back of my neck stands. Tension stretches down my spine. The sound of people signing to each other in the back row starts again. I’m probably making up that they seem concerned. That’s not something I can tell by the soft pats and slides of hands on hands.

Jamie, my mom whispers.

I stare at the back of the driver’s seat. If I close my eyes, Mason will know that I’m cracking up. He’ll know more about how I’m cracking up.

Mom, please, I think at her. Not right now. I’m busy.

Are you? I think you’re just sitting in a car.

I don’t think anything at all for as long as I can.

That lasts for less than a minute.

I’m trying to find Lily. I can’t talk right now.

Okay.

Everything outside the car is freakishly bright. It’s a sunny day, so that tracks, but my vision is fucked. All the colors clash. There’s nowhere to rest my eyes. It’s not like my cottage. It’s not like when I look at Lily.

I might not find her, Mom.

You will.

I might not.

You will.

I have to, because what the fuck am I supposed to say to Snowball? Lily’s dead?

No.

No.