Page 13 of Burn For Me

Instead, I let my eyes flutter closed, blocking out the doctor completely as I began humming the same song that Adalyn usually sang as she worked. If he’d said anything more, I couldn’t say what it had been. My mind floated around in a darkness that contained a strange combination of Adalyn’s beautiful face and Dr. Wallace screaming as he died. Both images brought me peace.

Dr. Wallace must have given up at some point because the orderly came to escort me out. It wasn’t until we were out in the hall that I realized the guy was the same one that had left the room the night of Adalyn’s attack. His face still had a bruise from where Jim had laid him out.

Loud screaming erupted, and one of the patients ran out of his room, screaming and pushing people to the ground as the demons chased him in his mind.

“Shit. West, can you wait here?” I didn’t respond as the guy let go of my arm and took off after the man that was now accosting a nurse. I couldn’t have planned this any better. This moment was exactly what I needed.

Scanning the area, I slowly slipped into the men’s changing room. No one was inside, and I ran to the lockers reading the little white labels that announced who’s locker belonged to whom. There were three of the guys that visited Marylynn on a regular basis, so they were my first stop to find what I needed.

I yanked open the first locker and grinned wide as I stared at the jumbo box of condoms. Emptying the condoms into my pants pockets of the scrubs, I pulled my shirt down into place and tossed the boxes into the garbage. Hunching over, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and staring back at me was the image that everyone else saw, but what they missed was the evil that swam behind my eyes.

I sprinted across the floor and resumed my meek look as I slipped out into the hall and leaned against the door. Whoever had been cleaning had left the mop and bucket, and I gripped the handle and then closed my eyes.

“Come on, Derek, I have to get you back to your room,” the same orderly said as he touched my arm. “Why are you hanging onto the mop.”

I opened my eyes and looked at the man like I’d just woken up from a long nap.

“I’m done,” I said and held out the mop for him to take. I would’ve laughed at the look he gave me if I hadn’t been keeping up appearances.

“Thanks.” He took the handle and pushed the bucket out of the way. He didn’t hold my arm like the others did when they were escorting me back to my room. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was only a couple of years younger than me, but I felt far older than my twenty-six years. We reached my open door, but before I stepped inside, I looked into the young man’s eyes as my gaze drifted over his face. He had butterfly bandages holding together all the cuts from the fight closed on his face, and on a whim, I did something unexpected.

Leaning in a little closer, I whispered. “The devil dances in flames, you know. You’d be wise to make sure you’re snug in your bed before that happens, or the devil’s plaything will consume you.”

His eyes grew wide, and I could hear him swallow hard. I smirked as I stepped into my room and turned to look out the small glass pane as the door was locked in place. As he looked at me through the glass, I mouthed the word, “Run.”

I had no idea if he would understand the warning or even believe it after the act I’d put on for days, but it was all I could do. The rest was up to him.

My moment came when my last set of pills for the night arrived. The orderly that walked in was not the same young man as earlier, and it gave me a glimmer of hope that he’d wisely taken off. I’d seen this guy a few times, he’d administered medication and stood outside my door on a few occasions when Jim had to subdue me in his not-so-pleasant ways, but he’d never been personally cruel. I did exactly what I had done since the attack on Adalyn and lay perfectly still while staring at nothing. He asked me to sit up and held out two small paper cups, so I moved slowly like I was out of it.

I couldn’t afford an error and took the pills, pretended to swallow them with the mouthful of water, and waited for the moment the man stood and turned his back. There was one thing Jim was right about—you should never turn your back on me. I was on the man in the span of a heartbeat, my vise-like grip around his neck, and like a python squeezing its prey, I pulled him back onto the bed, cutting off his air supply.

He smacked at my arms with as much success as a child swatting at a fly. Kicking his legs his white sneakers softly squeezing on the floor, but hitting nothing, and then all was quiet. I hung on longer than needed, he was passed out, but my gift to him was killing him before what came next. This was at least a peaceful death. The others wouldn’t be so lucky. I pushed his lifeless form off my body and felt for a pulse, but there wasn’t one to be found.

Rolling him onto his side, I placed the guy into a sleeping position on the bed and pulled the sheet up, so just the top of his head was showing. Taking the patients’ room keys off his waist, I removed the access card that Adalyn gave me from my safe-keeping spot. Poking my head out of the door, I could hear other orderlies in patients’ bedrooms as they completed their rounds for the night. Slipping into the hall, I locked my room before darting down the hall in my sock feet.

The card pass gave me access to the now locked men’s changing room, and I slipped inside and listened for anyone milling around. All was quiet, so I immediately got to work. The chemical had been filled and stashed a couple of days earlier, and I grabbed the hidden jug from a locker that wasn’t in use. I’d managed to save all my medication and even stole some from other patients and carts whenever there was a distraction. The furthest shower stall was the best place to work, so I took all the tools I needed into the square space and pulled the curtain across.

The excitement was beginning to brim inside me. The level of danger was intoxicating all on its own. Blood pumped hard through my veins because it meant I was free if I pulled this off. Nine years…nine fucking years in this place, and I wasn’t staying one more night. I didn’t care if I had to live out of a garbage dumpster. Anything was better than here.

I tore open all the condom packages and blew into them before laying them down in a line. Then carefully filled each one and tied off the end before poking a small hole through the excess material at the top for a makeshift hook.

Sweat beaded on my forehead because I had to work fast. The mixture I was creating with the pills and the chemical had already begun the process of combusting inside each condom. Each latex-filled balloon would act like a miniature bomb.

Finally finished, I placed a couple of my bombs behind the backs of toilets and in lockers, then quickly pulled on one of the orderly’s jackets, shoes, backpack, and baseball cap. I casually made my way down the hall like I was leaving my shift when an idea came to me, and I changed course. I headed to the end of the wing, where no one liked to be placed. Pulling out the universal key I’d stolen off the dead orderly, I turned the lock and pushed open the door of the monster’s cage.

Adam stood at the back, his hands clasped neatly in front of him and his emotionless eyes trained on the door like he’d been expecting me. I wasn’t sure this was a smart idea, but it would most certainly add some much-needed searching in another direction other than on myself.

“You wanna get out of this place?” I said in a shushed voice.

“West, my goodness, I was not expecting you.” Adam stepped forward, and as he did, a voice in my head yelled, ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ It was too late now. I was going to see this through.

“Here’s the deal, we get out of here, and then I never see you again. You go your way, and I go mine.”

“Why are you helping me?” He twisted his head to the side as he inspected me like some lizard, and I almost expected him to stick out his tongue, maybe catch an insect from the air.

Every nerve ending in my body was on high alert. Funny, my nerves hadn’t bothered me when I was killing and setting bombs, but this man was not right. Something deep inside me sensed it.

“I don’t have time for this, you either take the deal, or you stay here and burn alive.”