Page 20 of Burn For Me

“You want to know why,” I asked, and she nodded so hard I thought her head was going to snap off. “How long have you been with him?” I tossed a thumb in Jim’s direction. Jim’s nostrils flared as he continued to struggle to breathe.

“We’ve been together just over a year.”

“You put up with this piece of shit that long? Kind of impressive in a pathetic way, I guess.” I sat forward and leaned my elbows on my knees. “Haven’t you ever looked at him and thought to yourself, what the fuck am I doing with this guy?”

She looked at Jim and then back to me. “Sometimes.”

“Only sometimes? Jim here has been cheating on you regularly. You had to know that it was going on. If not, you’re a fucking idiot.” I stood as she shot daggers at me and then at Jim.

“That’s what this is about, some girl you screwed?” Jim tried to say something, but the words were too quiet to make out. “I don’t even want to know.” She looked up at me. “So what are you, some boyfriend coming to get revenge for screwing with your girl?”

I walked around Jim’s chair to stand behind him and pulled back the hood on my hoodie. It had been shadowing my face and had hidden the scar from her view, but as I turned my head so she could see the mark, she whimpered.

“I bet you know who I am now,” I said calmly and then walked around and loved how she tried to jerk away from me as I squatted down between the two. “Did he tell you what he did to piss me off or why he really got fired?”

Her eyes flicked up to Jim again.

“I bet he didn’t. So let me tell you. Your boyfriend Jim here did come to my room to rough me up. That part of the story is true. Not that it’s okay or anything, but it’s beside the point. When he arrived with the other men, a sweet little nurse that wouldn’t sleep with him, I might add, was in my room trying to warn me that she’d overheard Jim and a few of the other orderlies saying that they were planning on hurting me. You see…” I paused as I realized I didn’t know her name and didn’t really care, but asked anyway. “Sorry, what is your name?”

“Nancy.”

“Well, you see, Nancy, Jim decided to rape the sweet nurse in front of me.” I raised my hand, and she winced away like I was going to hurt her. “Don’t worry. I’m not like him. I’m a different kind of sick.”

I snickered as the monster inside took a firmer hold of the reins. Nancy’s tears turned into blubbering as I went into graphic detail. I explained everything her precious Jim did and used my hands to demonstrate the positions he’d held Adalyn in.

“So, as you can see, Nancy, things are a bit more serious than him simply sleeping with my girlfriend.”

I took the lighter out of my pocket and flicked the metal lid open. The little rowel was loud in the sudden silence as the flame clicked to life. Jim jerked at the sound. Walking around the chair, I knelt down in front of Jim, his eyes watching my every move. Grabbing the front of my hoodie, I pulled it to show off my collar bone and the small cigarette burn.

“Did you ever wonder if this hurt? What it felt like to have your skin and nerve endings slowly burnt away while you screamed and struggled to get away?” Stuffing my hand in the pocket of the hoodie, I pulled out the pack of smokes I’d found in the garage. “Found your hidden stash.” My eyes swung to Nancy. “I bet he told you he quit for good. It was another lie.”

I put the end of the smoke between my lips and lit it up, drawing the smoke into my lungs. It had been a long time since I tasted the sweetness of tobacco on my tongue.

“I quit before I came to the asylum, you know.” I took another pull and let the smoke travel out my nose as I stared at Jim. “I will again. These things will kill you.” Smirking, I stood and leaned on the chair, getting close to Jim’s face once more. “Let me know how this feels,” I said and placed the glowing end of the smoke against the side of his neck.

There was a slight sizzle sound, and Jim’s eyes snapped open wide as a strangled scream was ripped from his throat. Nancy was bawling hysterically from the other chair, and I looked over at her.

“Do you think he likes this?”

She didn’t say anything but shook her head no.

“Neither do I. You think I’m sick, Jim?” I pulled the hot little end away from his neck. “Did you ever wonder how I was made? What it took to make me kill four people? No, I bet you didn’t. You were too consumed with judging me and making me feel small while you held all the power.” I turned my head, so he had to stare at the scar on my cheek. “How do you think this felt?” I pointed to it, and his lower lip trembled. “No answer? Well lucky you, you’re going to find out.”

“What are you going to do,” Nancy asked through her sobs.

Taking one last inhale, I tossed the rest of the pack in Jim’s lap. “Now that right there is the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” Standing, I marched away to grab two of the heavy containers of gasoline.

“Oh my god, no,” Nancy yelled.

With her eyes wide, she looked at Jim, who was now showing his true cowardly nature. Tears ran down his cheeks as piss filled the front of his pants. Nancy struggled so much that the chair fell and crashed down onto her arm. She screamed in pain and blocked out her begging. Slowly humming a song, I poured the first jug of gasoline on the couch and the living room walls and made my way over to the front door. The second jug allowed me to complete the circle. Nancy began to cough at the strong fumes, but I took a deep breath of the sweet scent I loved.

I opened the sliding glass door and then picked up the last of the red jugs and walked back to Nancy and Jim. Staring between the two it was hard to decide who looked more pathetic.

“I want you to know, Nancy, that if Jim here had only hit me, I would’ve only made Jim pay, but since he is the cause for my Adalyn dying in the fire, I think it’s only fair that I return the favor.”

“No, please, I’ll do anything you want. I didn’t have anything to do with this. Pleeeese,” she begged, and I looked to Jim.

“You see this? She’s willing to throw you under the bus to save herself. Great choice, Nancy, but it’s too late for that.” I looked back down at Nancy, who was banging her head off the floor as she continued to beg. “I guess you really shoulda left him when you had the chance. You always knew he was going to hurt you.”