Page 68 of Burn For Me

“What the fuck do you know about it?”

“Your wife? Nothing. But I’m a bit of an expert in the explosions and burning department. Be back—I need to take a leak.” I stood up from the stool, and the entire room spun. I had to grab for the bar to stay upright and not fall over. I could hear Chase laughing at me as I stumbled to the bathroom to relieve myself. I now understood the phrase ‘walking like a drunken sailor’ and found myself whistling a stupid tune as I pissed.

I’d always been annoyed at the mess and wondered how my father could miss the toilet when he was taking a piss, but as I swayed back and forth on my feet, I suddenly comprehended the predicament. It was like trying to hit the center of a moving donut. The small bathroom smelt like I wasn’t the first one to have this issue and also like no one ever bothered to clean it.

I shook my head, not sure if I was into this fuzzy-around-the-edges sensation or if I hated the not being in control part. I’d spent my entire life being controlled by one thing or another, but this was one night to let it all hang out there, so I was fucking going with it.

Making it to the sink, I leaned over to wash my hands, which took a shit load longer than it normally did, before I reached up to grab for a paper towel—and there weren’t any. I tapped the plastic dispenser like that would help, but none magically appeared.

“For fucks sake,” I mumbled before just staring at myself in the mirror. The glare of the fluorescent bulbs overhead made the rippled skin of the scar on my cheek look more haggard than normal, and my fists balled up as I leaned harder onto the sink to stare at my reflection.

Nothing I ever did alleviated or washed away the pain of what my father had done to me. My face was a constant reminder of the thing that I’d become—of what he’d forced me to become. I was nothing more than a hideous beast on the outside, and now, I was the monster everyone thought I was on the inside too. The demons that had wormed their way into my mind were firmly planted on their dark thrones and calling me family.

With one wavering hand, I touched the rough skin and shuddered. The residual pain of my childhood was like the shots I’d just taken. Shots burn the worst when you first put one in your mouth and swallow it down, but then the numbness takes over. You’ve still swallowed it, though, even if you’re numb now, and the aftertaste makes your mouth taste like shit unless you can wipe it away somehow. My pain was something I’d never be able to wipe away.

Pushing away from the sink, I gave my head a bit of a shake to clear it enough to make it back to the bar without falling on my fucking ass.

As I entered the main part of the bar, I spotted Chase sitting in a booth with his feet up on the opposite bench, and as soon as he saw me, he waved me over. As I flopped down onto the bench, Chase pulled the toothpick he was chewing on from his mouth and pointed to the television. I looked up and saw that the scene had changed to show a rundown on a rash of recent murders in the area that they thought was a targeted attack on a motorcycle gang. The most recent had taken place in a bar where multiple people had been shot and a woman raped. Chase snickered and then full-on laughed as he continued to point at the screen.

“I did that,” he gasped out at the end of a laugh before dropping his head down to continue laughing.

I gave in to the hysterical laughing and joined in, my dark mood shifting slightly.

“Ha! You think that shit is impressive?” As I leaned back in the booth, Chase lifted his head, eyes narrowing.

“Among other things, yes. I killed the fuck out of those guys, and many other guys, and raped their women, fucking sluts, and I did other shit that I’m having trouble remembering at the moment, but it was all bad. Very, very bad.” He smiled and laughed, and once more, I found myself laughing over nothing.

“Wow, that sounded so terrible. So very, very terrible.” We were laughing so hard at that point that tears were running down our cheeks, and I clutched at my stomach, unable to breathe. It felt incredible. Sobering up a bit, I wiped the tears off my cheeks. For a moment, I stared at the wetness on my hand before looking back up at Chase, who was once more staring at the television with an evil look burning in his eyes.

I leaned on the sticky table and dropped my voice.

“You know that asylum that burnt?” I pointed to myself and got an appreciative nod from Chase. “You know that apartment building where an entire floor went boom and the building collapsed?” This time, Chase pointed toward me, and I nodded. “You know that explosion at the beach where the home astonishingly burned to a crisp with no leads a few weeks back?” Chase’s eyes went wide, and I looked around before lowering my voice further. “Did you see that oh-so-sad story about the Richie Rich college girl in the burned-out car? All me.”

“Fuck, man, you weren’t kidding when you said you were not a nice guy.”

The channel switched again, and this time, it showed a glimpse of the residential area and how most of the homes had been reduced to charred lumps of debris. Chase looked up at the screen and then back at me. An evil curl lifted the corners of my mouth.

“Wait…no…fuck…that too?” Chase pointed to the television, and my lips pulled up into a lopsided smile. He let out a low whistle. “I like your fuckin’ style, man, no messin’ around. You just took out like thirty people today.”

“They all had it coming.”

“Don’t they all.” Chase tapped his chin. “I have an idea. Do you want to play?” He leaned on the table and smiled like he was a fucking teen about to watch a porno for the first time.

“What you got in mind?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I kinda got a girl tied up out back. A rival club’s sweetbutt that decided to wander into my path. I was planning on shooting her in the head when I was done with my drink, but I think we should make this a real party.” Before I could answer, Chase stood and walked out the door.

I had no idea how he managed to walk a straight line. My head was swimming around and doing the backstroke in an alcohol-induced haze. I felt like I should be asking my brain if it needed a floaty, so it didn’t drown in there.

Chase wandered in a few moments later, pushing a little redhead along in front of him. The girl looked to be in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. It was hard to tell with the streaks of mascara running down her face making her look like a crying clown. He picked the girl up, who squealed, and put her on the table like she was a hood ornament.

“What she do?” I asked, pointing a finger at the girl.

“You remember the wife and kid I mentioned? This one belongs to the group that killed them.”

I looked her up and down and couldn’t picture her killing anything, so this had to be a ‘by association’ type of thing. I lifted a shoulder and let it drop.

“Okay, so what do you want to do?”