Page 57 of Unhinged Cain

Her eyebrow rose. “You didn’t kill him, did you?” she said, her voice worried.

“No, why would I kill him?”

She cocked her head, and I could see the confusion in her eyes as she slowly reached forward for the coffee. “Never mind. Thanks for this. I miss them.”

Sitting down across from her, the look she gave me was all I needed to know about where her mind was. She watched me like every move I made might turn into a bite. This was what I always wanted in the past, what I’d thought I wanted from her, but somewhere during our time together—I’d decided I wanted something else entirely. Now her fear felt wrong, and I needed to mold it and reshape it like a piece of clay.

“I want to spend the day together,” I said, and Sunshine blinked, her mouth hanging partially open.

“Why?”

“Why not?” I shrugged. “I know you love art, so I brought some things for us to work with.” Bringing a large bag around to sit between us.

“I don’t understand. What is going on here? You only come in to taunt me, drop stuff off, threaten me, and then leave.”

“I want us to get to know one another better. Don’t you?”

I pulled out large pads of paper, then bottles of craft glue, followed by a wide range of items to decorate the pages. There were boxes of crystals, stickers, crayons, flowers, and glitter. The glitter slightly terrified me as that stuff was hard to clean up. I’d also grabbed some exotic touches I preferred to work with, but I sat them all out and then grabbed one of the pads.

“You are chained to my wall, and I thought you might like to know more about who has you.”

“You want to do kid’s arts and crafts with me? That’s how we get to know one another?”

“No, of course not. We ask each other questions to get to know one another. This is to give us something to do at the same time. I thought that would be obvious?”

I turned my attention back to the pages, and I was already picturing a blend of how I saw Sunshine and myself. She was the light, and I was the dark, but I wanted to swallow her whole.

The black charcoal I picked up from the pile of choices moved swiftly across the page as

the image began to take form. I waited until Sunshine had given in and picked up the other pad and was in the process of sketching out a woman’s face.

“Why don’t you have any friends,” I asked, and Kirby’s head snapped up to stare at me. “I’m not going to use it against you if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just curious.”

She was slow to answer but eventually sighed. “I don’t get along with most people. I do for a period of time, but something always happens. I usually say something inappropriate that offends someone, or my interests don’t align, or they don’t turn out to be the friends I thought they were.”

“So what you’re saying is that, in general, you think most people are a waste of time and assholes,” I stated and changed out the charcoal for some yellow chalk.

“I hadn’t thought about it that way. Most people are fine enough. I just don’t tend to get close to people.”

I looked up at her.

“Because you can’t trust them,” I said and sat up straight. “The world is full of sheep, Sunshine, and you can’t trust a sheep because they will bolt and run or follow the group if it suits them. That is why you’ve never felt like you could get close to them. You instinctively know that you can’t trust them not to hurt you.” I looked down at my artwork. “That’s why you trust me even though your mind says you shouldn’t. You know that I’m a wolf.”

Sunshine opened her mouth, closed it again, and finally returned to her work. “Cain, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, whatever you want,” I said and finished flushing out the lighter colors and blending the edges.

“When did you know you liked to…you know, kill people?” Her voice was soft and shy. I reached out and grabbed her hand, and she flinched at the touch.

“You can always ask me anything. If I don’t want to or cannot answer, I’ll tell you,” I said, running my thumb over the back of her hand until she relaxed.

“I’ve known my whole life.” I shrugged. “While other children dreamed of unicorns and being rock stars or what new toy they were going to get, I dreamed of blood, what the inside of the neighbor’s cat looked like and what it would be like to watch the light drain from someone’s eyes,” I said, finishing the shadowing on the soft purple eyes of my drawing.

I glanced up at Sunshine. She was sitting there staring at me, her eyes wide and filled with a mix of fascination and something I couldn’t quite place…maybe understanding.

“You do know that’s disturbing, right?”

“You wanted the truth. Is there nothing you dream about that others would think is disturbing?” Sunshine gave a half-hearted shrug, which told me she dreamed of many things she wasn’t yet ready to share. I would get them out of her, eventually. “And why is it that what I like is disturbing, but someone who likes boxing is normal? Ever wondered where those rules came from and why? Humans have always enjoyed the sport of blood and death. The ancient coliseums are a perfect example. The only difference now is that people hide that they like it or call it a sport which is supposed to be more civilized.”