Page 144 of Avenging Azalea

“I wasn’t jealous. I was concerned. It’s different.”

“Uh, huh. Whatever you say. You’re the boss,” he said, smirking. I really wanted to hit him.

Asshole.

“You’ll be happy to know that all the prisoners are snug as little bugs in their cells at The Triangle.”

“Good,” I said, already picturing their tortured deaths.

We drove in silence the rest of the way to the house, but I couldn’t stop glancing at Fawn. She’d changed into a spare set of scrubs at the clinic and had washed her face and hands, but it didn’t wash away the swelling and bruises.

It was just after four in the morning when we pulled into the driveway. I put the vehicle in park, and Fawn woke up. She blinked and looked around before her eyes found mine, and she smiled. Fawn was built different. Maybe it was because of the terrible things she’d already lived through, but she always put one foot in front of the other without complaint. She stayed positive in the face of horror, and I wasn’t sure I’d have been as brave if roles were reversed. Naji hopped out as Fawn stretched and looked like a cat in the sun, making me smile.

“I can carry you in.”

Fawn smiled but shook her head.

“I can walk. Besides, the stiffness reminds me that I’m still alive,” Fawn said, and the little joke was like an icicle through my heart. Reaching out, I cupped her cheek and ran my thumb over her soft skin. “I’m okay. You made it in time. You don’t need to keep thinking about what could’ve happened. It didn’t.”

As many times as she said she was okay, I knew she still hadn’t faced what had happened. She’d talked all the way to the clinic and then took care of Sheba and Winston, making them her priority until she passed out from exhaustion.

“I want the fear. It will always remind me how close I came to losing you and how I never want that to happen again.”

Fawn pressed a kiss to my hand, and in the tender act was a vow. It damn near shattered me. God, I loved her. Fawn’s soul was made of kindness, stitched together by pain, and still, somehow, she was whole. Beneath the soft feathers was the heart of a lion. She didn’t just survive. She rose. She flew. She’d come to me as a broken-winged bird who refused to crash again. I didn’t just fall in love with Fawn. Every time I looked at her, I fell harder.

“Come on, let’s get you inside,” I said, reluctantly pulling away so I could get her door.

Walking around to Fawn, I helped her out and then opened the hatch for the girls to hop down. They trotted along beside us toward the door with Bella pressing herself up against Fawn’s leg.

Hand-in-hand we walked to my bedroom, but when we got inside, Fawn tugged me toward the bathroom. I closed the door as she grabbed the edge of the sink and began to cry. She didn’t make a sound, but the tears fell in a steady stream. Unsure how to help, I stood close and rubbed her back.

“I’m okay…I just need to get this out of my system,” Fawn whispered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

I gently gripped her shoulders and turned her to face me.

“Stop burying your pain, Little Bird. Don’t ever be ashamed of what you survived.”

Her lower lip trembled. Tears slid down her cheeks, slow and quiet as if the weight was too much to carry in silence anymore.

“I’m not ashamed,” she said, her voice cracking. “Not anymore. I was for a long time, but I get it now. It was a coping mechanism. I learned what he wanted, and I became it, because not doing that…it only made things worse. So much worse.”

I held still and sucked in a deep breath, being what she needed right now, even as I wanted to put my fist through the mirror. I had my regrets, and one of them was not slitting Neil’s throat the day I took George. If I’d known then what I know now…nothing would’ve stopped me.

Fawn inhaled shakily, her hands curling into fists.

“Still, there’s a part of me that can’t forgive myself…for not fighting harder, for not finding a way out sooner. But tonight, when I looked Neil in the eyes, I didn’t see someone who owned me. I saw a pathetic, empty man. There was this flash of fear, like a trigger to my past, but after that…there was only fury. I would’ve rather died than let him use me again.” Fawn placed her hands on my chest. “But I was so scared, Titus.” Her voice broke. “I was so fucking scared I’d never see you again. That you wouldn’t find me in time.”

She looked down, but I wasn’t letting her disappear into herself.

I touched her chin, lifted her face until her eyes met mine, and for the first time, she let me see the depth of her scars. All of it was laid bare. The agony. The guilt. The years of silence she’d carried like shackles.

And my heart fractured.

“Fawn…” My voice shook. “You were always strong. Coping or not, you lived through hell. The kind of torment most people don’t even want to imagine or accept is real because it is too scary. You not only stayed strong, but you remained kind. Your light is so bright, and it draws me in and warms me. You didn’t just survive, you rose from the wreckage with your wings torn but still found a way to fly.”

I cupped her face while my thumbs brushed away her tears.

“I’ve never pitied you. I’ve only ever stood in awe. You are the bravest woman I’ve ever known, and I love you, all of you. Even the shattered parts. Especially those. If they hurt you, let them cut me instead. I would bleed myself dry if it would take the pain from your eyes.”