Page 135 of Toxic Kiss

“You really want to do this now?”

“Yeah…I do.”

I suck in a deep breath as she slowly turns to face me. The sheets rustle as she burrows under them like she’s cold.

“Just so you know, I plan on stuffing my cock inside you once you start to nod off to sleep.”

Haven rolls her eyes like I’m ridiculous, obviously not realizing I’m serious. I trace her expression and take in every little detail.

“You claim I left you,” she says, eyes shining. “But you didn’t really want me, so why would I stay?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m pretty sure I made it clear all night long how much I wanted you.”

“Oh my god, Cy…you tortured me for years. You’d pretend to offer a truce or be my friend, and just when I thought we’d turned a corner, you did something completely reprehensible. And like a fucking idiot, I kept giving you chance after chance because I thought I understood you and your pain.”

The years of long-lost buried hurt stare back at me, and I hate that I’m the cause. Cupping her cheek, I run my thumb over the gentle curve, comforting her like she always did for me.

“You did. You were the only one who did. Well, you and Patrick.”

Haven sits up and wraps her arms around her legs.

“Then why did you hate me so much?”

Do I dare tell her what I know? Reveal that my hatred was locked into place before we even met. She was the outlet for all the pain, suffering, and betrayal I felt.

Flopping onto my back, arm over my eyes, the fight that took my father from me is still just as clear as the night it happened.

“You were the easiest target for my anger. My father didn’t just die in a car accident.” I say, looking at her. “My mother had a massive fight with him right before he stormed out. The police said that he was going through a green light and was broadsided by a drunk driver. But I blame myself.”

Haven grabs my hand, immediately shifting into supportive mode.

“They fought all the time, but mostly about me and my music career, and how it should unfold. Dad was supportive, but he didn’t want me to get into this lifestyle too fast. He was worried that I would end up on a dangerous path. My mother saw my potential, and all the reasons for not waiting until I was older.”

“You mean the potential dollar signs?”

Haven’s disdain is evident, and the barb that used to hurt when she said it just sits heavily in my chest.

“Yes, that too.”

“So, they were fighting about you?”

My tongue traces my lower lip.

“No. They were fighting because my mother was having an affair and planned to leave my father. She tried to lie to me, telling me that it was about me signing a record deal and us moving to California.”

I stare at Haven and watch as the wheels turn in her mind.

“You mean…no…are you saying…”

“Yeah. My mother left my father for yours, and my dad ended up dying.”

“Oh my god…Cyrus.” Her mouth drops open, and she squeezes my hand harder. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Fuck.” I push myself up and lean my head back against the wall. “There are so many reasons. I was thirteen, dumb, and full of anger. My dream was to be a rockstar and your father owned a record company. My mother told me to suck it up and that my father was holding me back. I felt trapped between my mother, my ambition, and what was right. I was immature and didn’t want to look too closely at my mother or the fact that she was playing me.”

Haven cups my cheek, and I hate that she is so fucking understanding. I move away from her touch.

“See, this is why I pushed you away.” I pull on my boxers and stand.