Page 23 of Toxic Kiss

“Cyrus, I have a fucking awesome song idea.”

“This is not happening.”

Jumping up, my towel falls, but I don’t care as I leap into the bathroom. I close and lock the door. A cold sweat breaks out all over my skin as every bone aches like they're going to snap.

“Cyrus, I thought you wanted a new song. What’s wrong? Why are you acting weird?”

The door handle shakes.

“Fuck off! Go away! You’re not Patrick.”

Swiping my phone off the counter, I press myself to the very back of the bathroom and fumble with the lock screen. It finally lets me in, and I call the first number that comes up with my search. My eyes stay fixed on the door, heart pounding out of my chest as the phone rings.

“Crisis Intervention Hotline, I’m Erika. What’s your name?”

“Rick,” I lie.

“Hi, Rick. What made you decide to reach out tonight?”

I pause, not sure how to explain this.

“I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“That feeling can be overwhelming. Do you want to tell me a bit more about what’s making it feel that way right now?”

“I keep hearing my friend call my name.”

“That sounds unsettling, hearing something that intense. When you hear your friend calling your name, does it sound like it's coming from around you, or more like it’s inside your head?”

I close my eyes, my head rocking from side-to-side even though she can’t see it.

“From around me, I guess.”

I’m not sure how to even determine that if I’m going insane, but I don’t say that.

“Thank you for telling me. Is the voice saying anything besides your name?”

“Yes, he’s talking to me.”

“Sometimes when voices are familiar, they make you feel safe. I do want to check, has he said anything that might make you feel unsafe, or like you should hurt yourself or someone else?”

I smile wide as I pull up the image of Patrick’s face. I can see him clearly smiling and laughing about something stupid. My emotions settle inside of me. Even if Patrick is haunting me, he’ll never hurt me.

“No. He was the nicest person. He wouldn’t hurt anyone or want anyone to hurt themselves.”

“It sounds like he really means a lot to you.”

I nod, tears filling my eyes.

“He did.”

“I hear you say did…did something happen to your friend?”

“Yeah…he…he died in a car crash.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s a painful loss to carry.”

“Now you can see why I feel like I’m going crazy.”