Page 244 of Toxic Kiss

“Haven, my love for you was never soft. It was ugly before it was honest. It was harsh words before a tender caress. It was a war before it became a home. But you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

Clearing my throat, I ignore the trembling in my body that has nothing to do with my illness and everything to do with the moment. Taking a breath, I softly sing the poem I wrote.

Every wrong turn still led me to you,

even the ones that broke us in two.

If love is a sin, then carve it in stone,

I’ll kneel at your grave before I stand alone.

We were written in blood and unfinished goodbyes,

but I’d choose you again in every tear I cry.

I’d ruin myself a thousand times through,

just to be the man who gets to love you.

You’re the only prayer I never outgrew.

The only sin I still run to.

I open the box and reveal the custom ring. It’s not delicate or traditional. It’s not made for a woman who can be summed up in a simple diamond on a thin band.

It’s an infinity symbol, large and intricate, designed to fit over both her ring finger and middle finger at once. Black diamonds curve through one side like midnight. Red diamonds cut through the other like blood and fire.

Her breath catches.

“I had it made for you,” I say. “For us. You were right to say no before. I hadn’t earned the right to ask the question.”

She stares at it, silently weeping, perfectly still, with her hands covering her mouth.

“Black for everything we survived. Red for everything that still burns between us. Infinity because I’m a selfish bastard and forever doesn’t sound long enough.”

A broken laugh escapes her, tangled with a sob.

I grip the box tighter.

“Patrick told me that if I wanted to continue bullying you, then I’d have to go through him. He was a far better person than I will ever be.” My eyes burn, but I fight back the tears. “I think he’d still kick my ass for half the things I’ve done to you since his death.”

“He would,” she whispers in agreement.

I chuckle through the ache.

“Yeah. He would.”

The laughter slowly fades.

“But I also think he’d want me to do this right. So I’m asking you here, with him, because he loved you first in the way a best friend should. He protected you when I didn’t. And I need him to know…” My voice cracks. “I will spend the rest of my life protecting you, loving you, and being worthy of you.”

I lock eyes with Haven and see it all reflected at me. The grief, the guilt, the love, and the terrifying truth.

“I’m not asking you to marry a perfect man. I’m not even asking you to marry a good one.”

She snickers.

“I’m asking you to marry the man who will choose you in every life and through every disaster. The man who will fight himself before he ever lets the worst parts of him touch you again.” I take her shaking hand. “You are the woman that I’ve always loved. I’m asking you to be my wife…my home.”