Page 38 of Toxic Kiss

Who the fuck is this guy? Why did no one tell me?

The pressure behind my ribs is so intense that without thinking, my arm is on the move. The impact is immediate, and the cheap mirror shatters under my fist. For just a moment, I stare at the cracks and tiny splinters, then with a yell, I strike it again. Not the mirror but the distorted version of myself staring back. The me that I loathe and yet know I can never change. Again and again, my fist hits the surface until my knuckles split and red mixes with the grime on the yellowed porcelain.

Blood runs from my fingers. I don’t flinch, I don’t even really care because nothing hurts as much as the thought of losing Haven forever.

Lifting my head, I can only see half of my face in what’s left of the mirror, and one thing is clear…I will never let Haven leave again.

Whoever this fucker is…I’m going to destroy him.

chapter

thirteen

“Some truths don’t need to be spoken. They scream in the pauses, in what’s left unsaid.” – Haven

HAVEN

The air outside the venue tastes like dust and burnt rubber. The concrete steams beneath the heat of the Reno sun, and my boots stick slightly to the asphalt as I pace despite the shade of the transport truck. We have three of them lined up in the loading dock bays like metal giants casting deep shadows.

The buzz of sound techs, roadies, and production crew preparing for the next show is a chaotic symphony in the background. But all I can focus on is Charles’s voice crackling through my phone. Shit connection. How is it we can put people on the moon, but I still can’t get decent cell service?

“I just don’t think a month is realistic, babe,” he says. “Things are complicated right now at the firm. Jacobson is on my ass about this new client and making them happy. If I leave, I risk not making senior partner next year. No one has ever made it that fast, but they have hinted that I can be the first. This will be huge for both of us and our future.”

My grip on the phone tightens.

“I know, but it’s not like you’re leaving them. It’s the same company, just a different location. Besides, you promised. We discussed all of this before I took the job.”

“I know what I said,” Charles replies, too calmly, as if I’m one of his clients and not his fiancée. As if I’m being difficult. “But life isn’t a straight line, Haven. Sometimes there are bumps in the road that we don’t see coming. This is a bump, not a roadblock. You’re going to be touring with the band for two months anyway. Why are you so fired up to have me rush out there?”

It sure as hell doesn’t feel like that.

“Honestly,” I say, taking a deep breath so I can get this out. “It just feels like if I don’t push, you won’t move at all. I don’t think you ever plan to move from New York, and it doesn’t seem like you support my dream in California.”

“I am supporting you. I’m just doing it at a distance for now.”

“Unbelievable.”

I had a feeling before I left New York that he might drag his feet, but I let him reassure me. Apparently, I need to trust my intuition.

“Look, Haven…everything is falling into place for me here, and it’s a shit time to leave. We both knew this might happen.”

It has been like this since the moment he made junior partner. Outwardly, everything is great. He is the doting fiancé, supporting me and my dreams. But talk is cheap and behind the scenes, he has become more arrogant and says his job matters more. He works late every night and is rarely home on weekends. Our wedding plans have stalled…nay they never really started. And now he is coming up with reasons not to transfer. I understand he is living his dream, but it’s not like the law firm doesn’t have a location in California. It’s one excuse after another.

I lean against the side of the transport trailer, not caring that it feels like it’s burning through my T-shirt. Pressing the heel of my hand into my forehead, I try to think.

“It’s not just the move, Charles. Have you even looked at the wedding ideas I sent over?”

“Not yet,” he says. “Work’s been crazy, but I will.”

“When?”

“I don’t know, what’s the rush? Why are you pushing so hard?”

I grind my teeth together.

“I’m not, but I’m excited, and you don’t seem to care,” I say, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “Have you at least talked to your mom about using the country estate for the wedding?”

He hesitates. “It’s complicated. It’s my mom, and you know she thinks we are rushing into marriage too soon. I need to approach her at the right time.”