Page 58 of Toxic Kiss

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks,” I say, and he disappears.

I’ve been sitting here long enough that my ass is numb. Long enough to remember the way Cyrus once sang in the middle of the night a song with my name in it just to annoy me. Long enough to remember every word we ever said to one another.

His monitors beep steadily, and of course, all I can think is that it’s a killer beat. My mind is a mess. Without consciously doing it, my eyes lock on Cy’s still face once more.

Tubes snake from his arms, and one is blowing oxygen into his nose. He looks so serene. So human. So…not the Cy I know. The one who haunts my dreams and taunts me from the corners of my mind.

I stand from my chair and cross the room to the window. It’s dark outside in the early morning hours with only a smattering of cars traveling to…destinations unknown.

What the hell am I doing here?

The plan was to work with my father, give us a chance to reconnect, and embark on a new chapter in our lives, running LG Records together. Instead, I haven’t even seen him, and he has me on rockstar babysitting duty. I’ve been reduced to making sure that the band, aka Cyrus, doesn’t implode during this tour. So far…epic fail.

Leaning against the wall, arms crossed, I look back at the bed. I really thought I’d moved on from all of this. The emotions, the drama, me practically mothering Cy because his mother is…well, not Mother of the Year. This is a toxic cycle on repeat, and the longer I stay, the deeper I’ll sink.

I can feel it in my bones.

But can I leave again? Can I walk away from the company that I’ve always dreamed of running? Walk away from my legacy? All that will prove is that I can’t hack it, and I’m running from Cyrus all over again.

“Fuck,” I mumble.

“Fuck what?”

I jump at the sound of Ledger’s voice.

He is standing in the middle of the doorway holding two coffees.

“Sorry, was just thinking out loud.” I cross the room and take the caffeinated offering. The takeout cup is warm in my cold hands and feels amazing. “Thanks.”

“No prob. Any change?”

I shake my head.

“Okay, I’ll go sit with the others unless you want me to keep you company.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m busy berating myself and prefer to face the internal humiliation alone.”

Ledger chuckles and bows his head as he backs out of the room.

“Far be it from me to interrupt a self-flagellation session.”

Laughing, I head back to my window as he quietly closes the door, but movement catches my attention. I stop and focus on Cyrus, holding my breath. There it is…a flutter of fingers. My stupid heart soars at the thought he may be waking up.

I’m warring with old emotions that I’ve buried instead of facing. That deep and disturbing issue is for another time.

Cyrus’s lashes move, and I grab his hand. His eyes open, and he looks around, confused. He blinks like he’s having trouble focusing.

“Cy?”

His head slowly turns in my direction.

“Ha…ven?”

I sit on the edge of the bed and squeeze his hand tighter. I don’t know if I want to cry, kiss him, or scream.

“Do you remember what happened?”

He licks his lips. “Water.”