Page 59 of Silk and Sirens

I was losing my touch.

Or maybe it was my passion.

Okay, so I wouldn’t say I usually enjoyed watching the men I poisoned die a painful and somewhat horrific death. But I did usually feel something.

I watched Mr Stuart foam at the mouth with his penis still erect, and I felt nothing. No rage, guilt, or even curiosity. I didn’t care who he was, or why Selene wanted him dead.

As I sat with my legs crossed in my black lingerie, essentially waiting for him to die, all I could think about was Caden. Which was more frustrating than anything.

I’ll chase you down and have you beg at my feet.

It’d been almost a week, and he hadn’t sent me any more demands or turned up unwanted at my house. If I’d known he’d be like this, I would’ve figured out a way to use Langdon for my plan instead. But he was more … mysterious. I wanted to say unpredictable, but, then again, I hadn’t expected Caden when angry to force two orgasms out of me. One using a gun.

Arsehole.

I still couldn’t think about it without my thighs pressing together.

And I hated myself for it.

I was used to men using me like a toy, with rough hands and disposable pleasure. Over the years I’d learned how to detach, letting my mind float somewhere cold and distant while my body endured it. On the rare occasion I chose the man I slept with, I was the one in control. I would set the pace, the depth, and the end point because, in all honesty, it usually bored me.

With Caden, I already knew that power was gone. And the worst part, the part that made shame burn in my throat, was how badly I wanted to hate him for it. Because he was no different from the others who’d hurt me.

Used me.

But I didn’t feel disgust beneath the heat in his gaze, or this strange lack of power despite the way he demanded all of me. There was no fear in the way he took control because he kept me in the moment, forcing my body to feel with a dominance I’d usually ache to fight. When I was with him, he made me forget about everything except him. It was … disarming. Cathartic, even.

Or maybe I was delusional, seeking any sort of comfort from a man who offered none.

A gargle. A last exhale.

Mr Stuart’s dick finally deflated with his death, and still I felt nothing.

Slowly redressing, I checked the scene to make sure there was no evidence that I was ever there.

Me:

It’s done.

Locking the door behind me, I walked five minutes to where I’d parked my car and slipped inside.

Renley:

Good.

Selene has a new client she’d like you to break in. I’ll send you the details.

Cold rushed through me at the words on my phone, acid rising at the back of my tongue.

Me:

Selene agreed I didn’t have to do that anymore.

Renley:

You’ll fuck whoever she tells you to fuck.

I tossed my phone onto the seat and drove to Atlantis, needing to lose myself completely in the act of a seductress everyone wanted but could never have. Maybe I’d sing tonight, let my voice carry everything I couldn’t bring myself to feel.