Page 135 of Secret Paths

“You already are,” I say.

“Yes, but now with purpose.”

Mandy exhales, half laugh, half surrender. “Alexandra.”

“All right. Fine.” Alexandra steps back, hands raised. “I will leave you alone.”

“That would be a first,” I say.

She points at me. “Do not ruin this by being smug.”

“I am not smug.”

Alexandra turns to Mandy and squeezes her arm once. “I am happy. Truly.”

Mandy’s face softens. “Thanks I guess.”

Then Alexandra looks at me. The smile remains, but her eyes sharpen into sisterhood.

“And you. I know where you live.”

“I am aware. You grew up there.”

“Then take it seriously.”

“I am terrified.”

“Good.”

She collects the change from Ed, gives us both one last look of poorly contained glee, then walks back towards the raffle table.

For three seconds, neither Mandy nor I speak.

Ed lifts the cash box. “I need to pretend to check stock.”

“You are standing right there,” I say.

“And now I am standing slightly farther away.”

He moves two feet to the left and becomes intensely interested in a tray of apples.

Mandy looks down at the grass.

I put the ladle into the jug because I do not trust myself with custard at a time like this.

“What,” I ask carefully, “does this mean?”

She lifts her eyes to mine.

The noise of the festival seems to move further away. A blur of voices, raffle numbers, children shrieking, Bernard’s bark, the clink of coins.

Mandy takes another breath.

“I did not say no because I did not want you.”

My chest tightens.

“I said no because I did,” she says. “Because wanting you felt like the start of everything I have spent years being careful about.”