Page 98 of Secret Paths

I nod.

“It is fun,” she says.

Another nod.

“It works because it is not more than that.”

The sensible thing would be to agree quickly. Smile. Make a joke. Put on my shoes and leave before I ask for something she has already told me she does not want.

Instead, I hear myself say, “And if Alexandra knew, it would have to mean more?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because she would think it does.”

“And it does not.”

Mandy’s eyes lift to mine. “We agreed it would not.”

That is not the same answer.

We both know it.

For a moment, neither of us moves.

Then I make myself smile. It takes effort. More than it should.

“All right.”

Her shoulders loosen, but she does not look relieved.

“Peter.”

“No, you are right. We agreed.”

The words sound calm enough.

That is something, at least.

I pull on my socks, then stand and reach for my jumper from the chair. Mandy watches me as I drag it over my head.

“I do not want to ruin it,” she says quietly.

That, at least, sounds like the truth.

I look at her. “Neither do I.”

And I am being serious.

I also know, with sudden and deeply inconvenient certainty, that keeping it exactly as it is might ruin it anyway.

Chapter 10

Mandy

By Monday afternoon, I have cleaned a kitchen that is already clean, answered three emails that could have waited until I’m back at work tomorrow and reorganised the drawer beside my bed.