Page 107 of The Bargain

There’s a moment of absolute silence. I see the teachers’ eyes widen, my peers leaning forward, waiting with bated breath for what I’m about to say. I smile broadly.

“It was me,” I announce, loud and clear, my voice filling the auditorium. “I beat Birnam Hastings.”

There’s a ripple of whispers, frowns and uncertain glances.

“Birnam Hastings is a cancerous tumour in this school—he spoils everything he touches, and I simply wanted the disease to stop spreading. I beat him up with my bare hands.” I hold up my hands, flipping them to show my audience my fingers—and the signet ring I’m wearing. The crest of blood has long dried, hardened, a black jewel crowning the gold. I brandish it, spreading my fingers like a flourish. “His blood is on my ring—and I wear it with pride.”

Mr North steps next to me.

“Desdemona.”

His voice is urgent, like he’s trying to tell me: stop before it’s too late.

But it’s already too late. It was too late by the time I went to Elias, that fateful night, and it was too late days earlier, when I saw Birnam’s unconscious body in the boathouse. It was too late before Birnam did what he did to Ophelia—it was too late from the moment Birnam ever thought he could do something like that and get away with it.

“No, Mr North, I’m going to finish,” I tell him firmly, still into the mic. I turn back to my peers, who are now watching in awe and shock. “I beat him, and I left him there thinking he was dead. Hoping he was dead.”

The teachers are covering their mouths, aghast. In the audience, Benjamin is shaking his head at me, not in judgement, but alarm. His eyes seem to scream: you’re confessing to an actual fucking crime, Desdemona.

I know I am—my mother’s one of the best prosecutors in America.

I smile wider. My heartbeat is strong and steady.

“When he was taken to hospital,” I continue calmly, “I hoped he would die there. And if I ever see him again, I’d want to do the same thing all over again. And if ever I ended up having enough power to ruin his life, I’d do it. Fortune favours me, after all, so why not put it to good use? If nobody’s going to stop Birnam, then I will.”

The audience is a mix of expressions, now. Surprise, shock, disgust, fear, admiration.

But as it turns out, the only person whose opinion I actually care about isn’t actually here. He’s in a jail cell somewhere, a cell I put him in.

“I abused my power to hurt Birnam,” I say, my voice filling the room. “And when I didn’t finish the job, I abused my power by making someone else take the blame for me.”

This time, complete silence. Stunned blinks. Mouths dropping open.

Even Dimitri looks genuinely shocked, his eyes huge, fixed on me.

“I convinced Elias Lennox to take the fall for what I did.”

Saying it out loud makes my heart soar. I could almost collapse from how good it feels.

“I knew he’d have to agree,” I explain, “and I knew it would ruin his future to do so. I offered him twenty thousand pounds in cash, and when he said no, I offered to sleep with him instead.”

In the audience, teachers are covering their mouths. Blaise’s easy smile is wiped clean off his face. Mira’s mouth falls open. Zafira stifles a shocked laugh.

I shrug.

“Why not? I thought my reputation was worth paying that price. But as it turns out, it’s not. Being perfect—the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect head girl—it was only ever a lie anyway. I’ve just been pretending. And actually, I’m done.”

I sigh, leaning heavily on the lectern, shaking my head. Hundreds of years of pressure seem to have lifted from my shoulders, now.

“I’m done pretending I didn’t commit a crime, and I’m done pretending I didn’t get someone else to take the fall for me. I’m done pretending you’re all blameless, because you all knew Birnam was a worthless piece of shit, a predator, and you all let him get away with it. I’m done pretending that I ever dated any of you out of anything but obligation, and I’m done pretending that I care what any of you think. I’m done pretending that I’m not in love with Elias Lennox when he’s the only person I’ve ever been in love with.”

In the crowd, Benjamin is sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses—probably wondering how on earth he’s going to manage to follow up my head girl’s address. Mira, on the other hand, raises her hands in a little silent clap—to her, my love for Elias probably justifies everything I’ve just done. I always thought her romanticism was naive, but actually, she’s always been ahead of the rest of us. A few rows down, Julian’s friends are all turning to look at him, whispers rippling all the way towards him. But I don’t even bother to check his reaction.

I turn around to look at Mr North.

“And now, Mr North, am I going to be arrested straight away, or should I wait until I’m dragged out of my next exam in front of the entire school? Am I going to be shoved around and handcuffed and stuffed into the back of a police car in front of everyone?”

Mr North rolls his eyes. “I think you’ve made your point. My office. Immediately.”