Page 40 of We Shouldn’t Do This Again

“I want you to come with me,” she whispers against my lips, her voice rough with desire. “I want to feel you melt all over me.”

I sit up a little more, and she spreads her legs naturally. We position ourselves in a scissor, our sexes pressed together, hot and soaking wet. I begin moving slowly, searching for the exact angle that will make us both tremble. When our clits finally brush against each other, the sensation is so intense we moan in unison. The rhythm gradually quickens. I brace myself on one hand to keep my balance, and with the other I caress her breast, pinching her nipple as my hips move harder, faster, more urgently.

“God, Lidia…”

She answers by thrusting back against me, our wetness mixing in a slippery, obscene sound that blends with the relentless patter of the rain. I increase the pace. Our clits rub together mercilessly, hard, hypersensitive. Pleasure rises from the deepest part of my belly, climbs my spine, burns across my skin. Lidia gasps my name over and over, her hands gripping my hips, guiding me, demanding more.

“Faster… Barbara… like that, damn it… I’m going to come again…”

I’m close too. The friction is perfect, overwhelming, almost painful in its intensity. Our sweaty bodies slide against each other. The air is thick with the scent of sex, rain, and us. I lean forward and kiss her while we keep moving, our tongues tangled as we moan into each other’s mouths. The orgasm hits me first; brutal heat explodes between my legs and spreads in endless waves through my body. I cry out into her mouth, trembling violently, grinding myself against her desperately. Lidia comes barely a second later, her body convulsing beneath mine and her moans blending with mine in a broken, perfect chorus.

We remain still for a moment, breathing hard, still joined by that intimate contact. But the desire doesn’t fade; it seems to multiply.

I pull away slowly and gently turn her onto her stomach. I lift her hips until she’s on her knees and position myself behind her. My mouth returns to her sex from this new angle, licking her with broad strokes while my fingers slide inside her again, deep and insistent. Lidia buries her face in the pillow and moans loudly. Her ass presses against my face, seeking more, always more. I slip in a third finger and pick up the pace, fucking her firmly but carefully, remembering every detail of how she likes to be touched. My other hand slides between my own thighs and touches myself at the same time; the double pleasure makes me moan against her wet skin.

“Oh… yes, fuck…”

I don’t stop. I finger her relentlessly, licking her, sucking on her swollen clit. When her third orgasm crashes through her, her body tightens so hard it nearly traps my fingers. I come almost instantly afterward, touching myself frantically; a quick, devastating climax that leaves me trembling and breathless.

We both collapse onto the mattress, exhausted but still tangled together. I gently turn her toward me and hold her tightly. Our sweaty bodies cling together as if they never want to separate again; our legs remain entwined, and we both breathe in the same uneven rhythm. The rain keeps falling outside, but inside all we hear is our breathing and the soft kisses we exchange.

I stroke her damp hair, brushing away the strands stuck to her forehead and cheeks. Her eyes shine with a special light; her lips are swollen and red from so many kisses.

“After two years…” I whisper softly, “I still know exactly how to make you tremble and how to push you over the edge.”

She gives me that lazy, slightly crooked smile that has always melted me from the inside out.

“And I still know how to do the same to you,” she replies as her fingers trail slow caresses down my back. “We’ve never stopped fitting together, Barbara. And I don’t think we ever will, no matter how far you decide to go.”

Despite the weight and intensity of her words, she kisses me slowly; a long, deep kiss that tastes of melancholy, truth, and an uncertain future. My hands explore her body again, this time without urgency, tracing every curve calmly, though desire still pulses beneath my skin, patient, waiting its turn. I part her legs again with my knee and settle myself between them. Our sexes brush together once more, soft, warm, still sensitive. We begin to move slowly, rocking gently against each other as if we had all the time in the world, even though we don’t.

This time everything is slower, deeper. Our hips find a perfect, almost hypnotic rhythm; our sexes slide against each other with every movement in a continuous, delicious caress. We hold each other’s gaze without looking away for even a second. It’s so intimate it hurts. In her eyes I see reflected the same immense love, the same fear of losing each other again, and the same overwhelming need I feel in my chest.

“I love you, Lidia,” I think, and something inside me breaks just as the orgasm washes over us. We press ourselves together, moaning softly, trembling in perfect unison. When it fades, we stay wrapped in each other’s arms, breathing together, feeling our hearts beat against one another.

I close my eyes, surrounded by her warmth, her scent, her presence. I don’t know what will happen when we wake up; maybe we’ll realize this was a mistake, that we never should have let it happen. But reason has no power here. Only the heart does, and that fire that has consumed everything until these two years apart have turned to ashes.

CHAPTER 21

WHAT STILL HURTS

Lidia

The light hits me hard even before I manage to open my eyes. It seeps through the curtains intensely, as if the world had decided that today there’s no room for shadows or doubts. I blink, still disoriented, and the first thing I notice is the scent of sex filling the air. It’s a sweet, fruity mixture that clings to my skin and stirs a knot in my stomach made up of equal parts happiness and guilt.

The memory of what happened last night flashes through my mind. At first, everything is tangled and swirling inside me, but little by little it becomes clearer, more real: the rain pouring down on us, the hunger in our kisses, the silky softness of her breath brushing against my skin, and my name breaking from her lips in hoarse moans. I don’t know at what point I let my guard down, but I know that, for several hours, I felt whole and complete. I never imagined I missed her this much, but I did. And yes, we shouldn’t have done it, but stupid me, I gave in.

The storm that roared outside and battered the windows is gone now. So are her caresses on my skin, her tongue between my legs, her heat taking control of my senses. But I can still feel it all, and if I close my eyes, I can feel myself trembling and growing wet for her.

“Stay tonight,” I remember, and in that instant, I become aware of the weight of her body resting against my back, her arm wrapped around my waist, and the slow rhythm of her breathing.

I feel as though I’ve gone back in time, as though we were never apart, as though everything that happened was just a nightmare. But I know my feelings aren’t real and that this isn’t reality.

I sit up carefully, my heart racing, and slip out of bed, trying not to wake her. Around me are traces of what happened: her clothes and mine scattered everywhere. Pleasure still pulses through my body, and that is precisely the worst part.

“You’re such an idiot, Lidia…” I whisper to myself, pressing a hand to my forehead in frustration. “You can’t fall for this again… you can’t let yourself do this again. What were you thinking? After everything it took to move on…”

My voice is low, and when I turn to look at Barbara, she’s still asleep, peaceful, oblivious to the storm raging inside me. Her breathing is slow, her expression relaxed, as if nothing happened. For a second—a very brief one—something inside me softens. Part of me wants to stay, to crawl back into bed beside her, to move close slowly and hide in that warmth I know too well, in the scent of her skin that still clings to mine. But no. I can’t. I mustn’t.