Page 87 of A Perfect Disaster

“Not yet. But you’re one step away. And you know it.”

I hate it when he’s so right.

Later, during the shift change, I run into Maika in the crew lounge. Maika is sitting on the sofa, holding a bottle of water and staring at the floor tiles.

“Can I sit here?” I ask.

She looks up.

“Go ahead. The couch is public,” she replies.

I sit down next to her, but I leave a safe distance between us. It’s utterly stupid, considering we’ve been making out in the hot tub and in my own cabin. But today, that small distance feels like an unbridgeable chasm.

“You’re acting weird,” I say after a while.

Maika lets out a laugh.

“Wow, thanks. Straight to the point.”

“I’m not joking, Maika,” I insist, turning toward her.

“I know.”

“You’ve left the boys with the biggest mess to clean up.”

She takes a long swig of water, buying time so she doesn’t tell me to fuck off.

“They have to learn to fly on their own, Helen. I can’t hover over them the whole damn cruise.”

“But you don’t have to do that by throwing them to the lions to be eaten alive.”

“Are you going to lecture me on how to manage entertainment now?” she asks. It’s clear she doesn’t feel like fighting.

“I don’t want to argue with you,” I admit.

“Well, you’re doing a lousy job of hiding it,” she replies with a touch of irony.

“Maika…”

She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath as if she’s running out of oxygen.

“I’m tired, Helen. Exhausted.”

“So am I,” I confess.

“Well, that’s just great. Now we have something else in common besides off-the-charts sexual tension and a knack for ruining the good moments,” she says sarcastically, flashing a small smile that vanishes instantly.

A silly laugh escapes me, but my stomach clenches again.

“You don’t have to do that, you know?”

Maika avoids looking at me.

“Do what?”

“Subtly sabotaging your own work so I look like Employee of the Month in front of the bosses.”

Her jaw tightens.