Page 92 of A Perfect Disaster

“No.”

“Of course not! If she’d gotten wind of anything, she would’ve handcuffed you to the cabin bed and lectured you for three hours to talk some sense into you,” he says, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand. “What on earth has gotten into you?”

Gonzalo lets out a loud snort.

“Seriously, Helen, you need to be locked up.”

“Please don’t lecture me too. I’ve got enough on my plate already.”

“Don’t lecture you? But you’ve been killing yourself over that management position for twenty thousand contracts!” he throws in my face, as if I didn’t remember. “You wanted it so badly it was scary, girl.”

“I know, Gonzalo, I know perfectly well.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack that night when you made me do a mock interview while I had a fever.”

“Come on, you had a fever of 37.2 degrees—you’re such a drama queen,” I retort, trying to lighten the mood so I won’t burst into tears.

“Why the hell did you do it, Helen? Tell me.”

“Because Maika needs it a million times more than I do.”

“And what about you? Don’t you count?”

“Not in the same way,” I insist, cornered. “Her grandmother needs medical care. And Maika can’t afford to turn down that salary. I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing.”

“You should’ve talked about it, damn it. You talk things out,” he snaps at me.

“For what? To get stuck in a loop of ‘no, you quit,’ ‘no, you first,’ and end up both acting like idiots, like two soap opera characters?”

“Well, it’s a little late to avoid looking like an idiot now, sweetie,” he says with a pitying smile.

I don’t find it funny, but I don’t argue with him. Gonzalo sighs, leans against the partition in the hallway, and puts an affectionate hand on my shoulder.

“How are you? I mean, really.”

Relieved and angry at the world, head over heels in love, and with a frightening sense of emptiness.

“I did the right thing,” I whisper, looking at the floor.

Gonzalo lifts my chin with a finger.

“I didn’t ask if you’re the noblest person on the ship. I asked how you’re doing.”

I bite my lower lip. The echo of the Caribbean music from the restaurant reaches me distorted. The fiasco of our previous cruise together comes to mind—the anger, the humiliation of being stuck. This is different. Now there are no incompetent bosses to blame; the decision was mine, and that makes it cleaner, but also a thousand times more painful.

“I feel the same way I did back then,” I confess. “As if a reinforced door had slammed shut in my face and I’d been left on the dark side of the pier.” Only this time, I threw the key into the depths of the sea. And that’s supposed to make me feel like a heroine in a romantic movie… but no. Although I don’t regret having done it. I swear that to you by all that is sacred.

“You can be sure you did the right thing and still feel like you’ve been stabbed in the heart, Helen.”

I close my eyes for a second, take a deep breath, and when I open them, I stand right in front of him.

“It’s vital that Maika doesn’t catch on to anything, Gonzalo,” I warn him, nervously biting my lip. “I know full well that sooner or later the truth will come out—lies on ships have very short legs—but as long as the secret holds until the committee signs off on Maika’s promotion, I’ll be satisfied.”

“Whatever you say. But just so you know, you’re hiding out of fear of her reaction, not to protect her. It’s your defense mechanism, but don’t come crying to me later if things go south.”

30

Maika