Page 46 of My Heart Belongs to You

He released me and smiled. “I look forward to it.”

“I’m what you need,” I sang along with The Weeknd.

Very clever.

Nadir knew what he was doing by adding this song to the playlist. This was a shot at Joseph and me. I wanted Joseph because he was the safe choice. He filled the spaces Terrance once occupied without much effort. He was caring, attentive, open, and honest, at first. Over time, I focused more on myself and he fell back. Dates became an afterthought and text conversations went stale after a day. Obviously he’d used our distance to explore his options. If he'd found someone who had time for him, that was where he needed to be. After coming to that realization, I knew what I needed to do, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I struggled with making an unselfish choice.

As I listened to the playlist Nadir simply titled, “GOLDIE,” I couldn’t help but feel a way. With each play, I listened attentively, trying to decode Nadir’s feelings about me. Like what was the meaning behind me not wanting the world from him? We laughed it off, but I wondered how much truth was in that statement.

The next song, “Recognize” by PARTYNEXTDOOR, played and I burst into a fit of giggles as the opening lines couldn’t have been truer.

We might have been entertaining other people, but now, I craved him.

I fluffed my hair in the bathroom mirror as I planned my night. My suitcases were packed, the flight was confirmed, and the house was clean. I didn’t want to sit at home on the eve of my trip. Looking at index cards and years' worth of notes brought on a headache. If I had too much idle time, I’d think, which would lead to agonizing over my test. I called Raven to see what she and Sadé were up to tonight. They were already out in D.C., having dinner with friends. Adrienne was on a date with Q, which I was dying to hear about later, but knew she wouldn’t text me until tomorrow. A night out wasn’t what I needed anyway.

What I needed was… a release.

There was one person who came to mind; the mere thought of him made me hot. I shook my head in the mirror, ashamed of myself for what I was doing. Especially after my lunch date with Nadir at My Place. I laughed a little harder at his jokes, outwardly blushed at his compliments, and even welcomed his flirting.

Our hugs were cozier. I felt his lingering stares while I looked over the menu and his forehead kiss lasted longer than usual. I felt the same when we parted ways at the festival. It was impossible to hold back from Nadir, which was a scary thing to admit. But being in that space with him felt too good. My resolve weakened and I had a hard time stopping it from happening. Nadir made it easy to show up as myself without fear of judgement or scrutiny. Everything was changing so fast and I worried I could lose my friend.

My makeup was sexy; smoky eyes, light blush, and a vibrant red lip. Raven had finally touched up my eyebrows and filled my eyelashes, so I didn’t need mascara. I slipped into my red satin dress, then put on black strappy stiletto heels with a gold buckle. A few sprays of perfume on my neck and wrists were the finishing touches to my outfit. The sentimental playlist and the thoughts filling my mind emboldened my decision. Before walking out of the door, I caught my reflection in the mirror then smiled. I couldn’t believe I was on my way to seduce my best friend.

“Hey, Robyn!” Summer hugged me after I greeted Mel. They were at the entrance when I arrived. “I thought you were in Portland?”

When she released me, I replied, “I leave in the morning. Figured I could use a drink and vibe to some music to keep the pre-test jitters low.”

“I remember the night before my cosmetology exam. I don’t think I slept at all. Let me get you a table and an order of egg rolls.”

She led the way to the table I usually occupied near the bar. The curved booth gave me a view of the entire lounge. The round tables in the middle were filled with couples holding hands and staring longingly at each other and groups of girlfriends catching up while laughing over a bottle of wine. An old school R&B playlist crooned from the overhead speakers. The lights were low and tea light candles on every table illuminated the space. The windows were open as those on the patio indulged in hookah and other vices. After directing me to my seat, Summer went to the bar and did a quick stop at the tables nearby before returning.

“I put in your order and Kenya is making your drink.”

“Thanks, Sunny,” I told her with a smile. “It’s kind of busy tonight.”

We looked around the lounge and Summer nodded while rubbing her stomach.

“I know. I think it’s the new menu and drink options. Thank you for that. Your brother was a huge help with the cocktail menus.” She slid into the booth across from me.

“No need to thank me. I’m surprised Nadir isn’t working the room.”

I looked around the room once more, in search of him. While I hoped to run into him sooner, I was okay catching up with Summer.

Summer laughed, pulling my attention back to her. “Right? I used to hate that part of my job, but I get it. The genuine connections and hospitality keep people coming back. There are people who’ve been coming since Mr. Bennett ran it. There's this couple in their late forties who love the open mic nights. They say it reminds them of the ones from back in the day. I learned that a few weeks ago when I was doing my rounds.” She paused and looked around; pride glimmered in her eyes. “When Nadir took over this place, he was so scared that he’d ruin everything his dad built. I hope he realizes how proud Mr. Bennett would be.”

My eyebrows met. “I think he realizes it.”

Summer shrugged. “We’ll see. I’m sure he’s questioning everything right now.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s in his office working on a presentation for his Uncle Harold. Whenever Nadir meets with him, he’s so irritable. I mean, I get it. Uncle Harold is such an asshole and so bitter that Mr. Bennett left Ray’s to Nadir.”

“I remember him telling me about that.” He touched on their meeting briefly during our lunch date. The way he glossed over it should’ve been cause for me to ask questions, but my mind was elsewhere. “I didn’t know it was still an issue.”

Summer laughed. “Girl, it will always be an issue. Even more since his wife left him. Now he has nothing but free time on his hands.”

She lowered her voice and put on a polite smile, prompting me to see who was coming. Peyton strolled over with a tray containing my food and drink. She placed my egg rolls in front of me with silverware, then my drink, a lemon drop martini garnished with dried rosebuds.