Page 65 of Penn

I’ll just keep this here, locked away, until Dixie decides for certain what she wants. Who she wants.

Then I’ll carry a sledgehammer in here and start demolishing everything. Make the room look like how my heart feels.

Chapter 25

Dixie

Spending two nights away from Penn hasn’t felt right, but I have to respect his feelings. He’s giving me time to figure out what I want, but I wish he’d fought a little harder. Convinced me that choosing him won’t mean I’m risking everything, only for him to change his mind when I’m at my most vulnerable.

The passenger side of Penn’s pickup is cold and lonely today. He keeps both hands on the wheel rather than his right on my thigh like he normally does. He doesn’t even glance in my direction as he drives me to Zep’s house.

“I could have driven myself,” I say, my voice quiet. “I didn’t mean to burden you.”

“I have club business to handle, so it’s on the way,” Penn says. “I wasn’t sure you knew where they lived.”

I didn’t, but it’s not like I’m directionally challenged. My phone has GPS. “Okay.”

The truck rolls to a stop in front of a large house with a lot of personality. The type of house that’s been around for generations, and I think it’s beautiful.

“I’ll be back in a few hours, but you can text me if you need something sooner,” he says. “Be careful.”

I want to ask him if this is the end of us. If he’d rather I find another place to stay. Maybe I should just take Lainey up on her offer to let me stay at her place. As awkward and uncomfortable as it would be if Wylie showed up, it would be warmer than Penn has been lately.

But I don’t ask him. Because deep down, I’m a chicken. “You, too.”

I get out of the pickup and head up the front steps without looking back. Penn doesn’t drive away until Misty’s opened the door and I’m inside. That’s something, right? He didn’t just take off to leave me without knowing I wasn’t stranded.

“How are you doing? This is always the hardest part of the pregnancy. You feel okay compared to morning sickness, but you can’t always breathe. Or go fifteen minutes without worrying you’ll pee your pants when the kid kicks your bladder,” Misty says.

She’s only been home a few days, but she looks ten times better than she did in the hospital. “That’s not as bad as the back pain. That’s what’s really killing me right now.”

“Come sit down,” she says. “Take some pressure off.”

I don’t need to be told twice. “Thanks.”

“Do you need anything to drink?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

Bernie hurries into the living room holding out a piece of paper. “Look, Dixie! I’m drawing a picture of the baby. I don’t know if I should draw blue or pink, so I made purple.”

Purple seems like a decent compromise, I suppose. “It’s beautiful, Bernie.”

“Baby, why don’t you go color in your room for a little bit? Dixie and I need to have a big-girl talk.”

“One day, I’m going to be old enough to have big-girl talks, too,” she says. “Do you need me to check on Lucy?”

Misty’s eyes widen. “No! I mean, she’s sleeping. I have the monitor, so if she wakes up, I’ll take care of her.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Bernie clambers up the stairs, and Misty falls back against the couch. “I love her, and I love how much she adores being a big sister.”

“But?”

“But she’s woken Lucy up more times than I can count while checking on her. And when Lucy’s awake, she’s a screamer.”

“I suppose I have things like that to look forward to,” I say.