Page 22 of My Older Biker

"I know."

"Are you still okay with this? Knowing what it'll cost?"

I look at her. Really look. Her dark hair spread across my pillow. Her brown eyes watching me. The soft curves of her body under my sheets.

"Yeah," I say. "I'm still okay with it. Are you?"

She moves closer. Presses her forehead against mine. "I'm terrified. But yeah. I'm okay with it."

We lie there as the sun comes up. Neither of us sleeping. Just holding onto each other.

Around seven she says, "I should get dressed."

"Yeah."

Neither of us moves for another five minutes.

Finally I sit up. The wound pulls but the tape holds. "We should go now. Before I lose my nerve."

She sits up too. "Together."

"Together."

We dress in silence. She borrows clean clothes from my dresser. Jeans that are too big and a t-shirt she has to knot at the side. I pull on jeans and a clean black shirt. My cut.

At the door she takes my hand. Squeezes hard. "Whatever he says, we're solid. Right?"

"We're solid."

She takes a breath. Lets it out slow. "Okay. Let's do this."

I open the door and we walk out into Sunday morning.

Chapter 6 — Zoe

The drive to my father's house takes twenty minutes. Dean's hand rests on my thigh the whole way. Not moving. Just there. The weight of it grounds me when everything else feels like it's tilting sideways.

I've been preparing for this conversation since yesterday. Running through what I'll say, how I'll explain, what arguments I'll use. None of it feels adequate now.

Dean pulls into the driveway behind Dad's truck and kills the engine. Neither of us moves.

"We could turn around," he says.

"No, we couldn't."

"We could wait. Give him a few more days to process Perry."

"It won't get easier." I look at him. His jaw is tight. His eyes are fixed on the house like he's memorizing it. "Are you scared?"

"Terrified."

"Me too."

He finally looks at me. "Your dad has been my best friend for twenty years. He's the closest thing to family I have in the club besides Clint. If I lose him over this—" He stops. Swallows hard. "I've never wanted something for myself badly enough that I was willing to risk losing him."

"Until now."

"Until you." His hand tightens on my thigh. "And that scares the shit out of me because what if he's right? What if a year from now you realize this was a mistake and I've blown up a twenty-year friendship for nothing?"