Page 69 of Ghosts and Ginger Tea

I have fallen for her, heart and soul. She is truly the moon to my tide. I will do anything for her.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. He was talking about me, right?

Who else would he be talking about? My mind mocked me. I continued, warmth filling me that he was, indeed, speaking of me.

I cannot take away Oli’s days. She deserves to live and to rule this people and kingdom. She will do a far better job than I ever could, even though she has not been raised to take on such a calling. Oli is wise, brave, and compassionate beyond understanding. I love her, and I will sacrifice myself for her.

My eyes skimmed across the next paragraph. I was reading so fast, needing to know his grand plan, needing to know if he really did feel for me.

I will surrender our people to the warlord, and, if he does not kill me, I must go to Kalani. He will surely take my life, but I must finish the riddle. I must become a creature of the night… for her.

That was it.

I thought I’d run out of tears, but surprisingly, they still came. He did it… for me?

For… Me? This time, he really was going to face the consequences… and all because he loved me.

I wanted to read past entries, to see if he’d written anything else about our time together, but I was too overcome with emotion.

Keanu really, really loves me. And he knew that I respected Kāne, the god of all gods, so he respected and honored me by paying the price for his faults. Keanu changed himself and his beliefs because of me.

I don’t know how long I sat there, sobbing, my tender feelings warmer than the ginger tea we’d drink in the nights.

Love. I had never allowed myself to truly sink into it, to truly feel it, because I never allowed myself to dream and accept that it was possible for me, the spearfishing daughter of a drunken man, to be loved and cared for by someone. I never allowed myself to even dream of a happy marriage, or that a man would love me enough to change his ways, accept his faults, and do something to make restitution. Even if it was the ultimate price: his life.

For so long I had blinded myself with survival. But how many times had logic told me Keanu was true, and then the feelings in my heart aligned with those thoughts?

My heart and mind aligned… I had never thought of it, but it made sense. I could dream big and love big, just as Keanu had, because both my heart and my mind agreed, and, even more importantly, I was doing what Kāne needed me to do.

I stood and stared at the moonlight sparkling on the ocean.

I can dream big. I could allow myself to dream of love… but not just love. Loving him.

I love him. I could not–no, I would not deny it. I could dream big of being the queen and leading the people to peace, proving just how much I loved him.

I tsked to the pueo and he flew to my arm. Malu was such a perfect name for this owl, for I felt peace now.

“Come on,” I said, petting his soft feathers. Keanu’s last words and Malia’s timely counsel came to mind. “We’ve got work to do.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

The carriage ride was bumpier than I expected, but I was so anxious and ready to get to the battlefield that I couldn’t sleep anyways. It hadn’t taken long to gather a small army and make our way through the mountains, and I had to thank Alohi for his promptness. Keanu had been wise to assign Alohi as my personal guard.

We were en route to Nu‘uanu, and with each passing hour, I hoped with all my might that Kalani and the rest of the chiefs hadn’t gone to battle yet. I didn’t bother to meet with my counselors, though I was sure they’d try to persuade me to join forces with Kalani and the others.

But I know better. I had always listened to my mind, the logical part of me that discerned the best case scenarios.

But this time, I never felt more sure of myself, because I knew that the path ahead of me–though terrifying–was the right one. It was the path of peace, the path of Kāne, that I worshiped.

Eventually, I did fall asleep though, and Alohi awoke me in the morning, telling me that we were close.

“You should eat first,” he said. I glanced at Malu and he blinked his yellow eyes at me, as if to say, “You look pretty haggard.” I felt haggard, physically, at least. It would probably be a bad thing to show up in the enemy’s camp when I didn’t feel too well.

So I ate some food and made myself as presentable as possible. Then we entered the camp of Kalanikupule, Keanu’s longtime enemy.

“Ah, have you come to tell me you’ve changed your mind?” Kalani took a bite of his kalua pig and smiled at me. I wondered if he heard what happened to Malakai. It was strange to me that only a day had passed since I saw Kalani. He had seemed so confident walking into the dining hall and asking Keanu to join forces with him.

And now… he seemed even more inflated. Several chiefs from the island had allied themselves with Kalani, and they were prepared for a very large battle.