Page 19 of A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love

“Come on, Pops!” Cain complained.

My heart stuttered like it always did when they referred to me as pops. Cain said it first naturally then Abel followed behind his brother the next day. I wasn’t the type to get emotional, but that day I shed tears of joy. Cain looked at Abel, and Abel looked at Cain. Then the both of them slowly looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“Pops?” Abel frowned.

They both said pops so easy now like I earned it, which I felt like I did. I got a good look at both of the boys standing in the middle of their spacious room comfortably like this has always been their life. I swallowed once then waved them over.

Little did they both know, nobody prepared me for this part of being a man. My father never told me the sound of a word could hit harder than bullets if it came from the right mouths.

“Come sit down,” I told them.

I scooted to the middle of the edge of Abel’s queen sized bed and waited for them to sit on either side of me. The smell of their YSL cologne announced their presence first before I felt the bed dip on each side of me.

“What I tell y’all about cursing?” My whisper was raspier than usual today but the pain was void.

It took me time to get over my own stubbornness and start back getting help with my doctor as far as pain management with my throat. My twins was worth me trying since I preached to them about never giving up. They were almost as good as my house staff with sign language. Yet, I still wanted to use my voice when speaking to them since they were my pride and joy.

“One of y’all better answer me.” I took my time looking both of them in the eyes.

I never had to raise my voice to be heard. One of the teachings that stuck with me from my dad was that power didn’t work loudly. He always stated that it sat in a room before you even walked in, and if you built the shit right, it spoke for you. That’s what I’ve been trying to teach my boys.

Cain shifted first, aware of the seriousness in my tone.

“It doesn’t make us cool,” Cain muttered.

“And?” I pressed.

“It makes us sound like we don’t got nothin’ else to say,” Abel stated lowly.

I nodded slowly, took a sip of my tea then balanced it on my knee.

“So what that mean?” I lifted a brow.

Silence stretched between us for a second before I felt both of their bodies shift next to me at the same time.

“It means…” Cain hesitated.

“It means words matter,” Abel finished.

I sat my cup of tea on their carpeted floor then stood off the bed and towered over the both of them.

“Exactly.” I crouched down so we were eye level. They needed to see me, not look up at me all the time. I never wanted to instill fear in the boys.

“Anybody can throw a curse word in a sentence… it’s easy and lazy. That’s what people do when they ain’t got control over they thoughts… or they emotions… But a man…” I tapped my chest, then theirs one by one. “A man knows how to say exactly what he means without lowering himself to be understood. That’s discipline that could be used as power with good self-control.” I schooled them as smooth as possible.

“You and Uncle Roy be cursing sometimes.” Cain gave me a knowing look.

I smirked and playfully socked him in the chest. I wasn’t offended but always grateful for the boy’s good observation. Cain scratched the side of his head; his brows pulled together like he was waiting for me to have accountability… another thing I stayed on them hard about.

“I’m human,” I started, wanting to be simple and honest with them.

“I fall short of the standard I was taught and the standard I continue to set for myself,” I admitted openly.

They watched me closely, measuring every word I spoke.

“When I curse, it ain’t because I think it makes me sound better. It’s usually because I’m frustrated… or I let a moment get the best of me.” I tapped my temple lightly.

“That’s a lack of control.”