Page 49 of A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love

I wiped it away quickly, embarrassed by my own emotions, but another one followed right behind it.

“So many things played a part in me leaving.” My voice cracked. “The biggest one being… I killed your father and I still don’t regret it.”

The confession shattered me all over again even though the blood had long dried from my hands. The memory haunted me every other night in my dreams.

“I don’t care what anybody says about me doing it… I only started to care a little because of you…after I fell for you accepting me for me… It bothered me because I took someone from you.” I shook my head weakly.

My chest ached so bad, I had to press my hand harder against it.

“And then Lennox…” His uncle’s name barely made it past my lips.

I never hated a person as badly as I hated fuckin’ Lennox.

“Your uncle ended up being murdered too… Everything around you was falling apart, and instead of standing beside you through it…” My breathing staggered. “I ran… I thought back to how I started the year out… my New Year resolution was freedom… I took it while I had the chance.” Shame flooded every inch of me until I felt like I was drowning in it.

I finally looked up at him then, and seeing the restrained pain in his expression nearly destroyed what little composure I had left.

“The truth is, Luca…” I inhaled sharply trying to calm my nerves. “I realized I fell in love with a man I didn’t feel like I deserved to have.” That last confession broke me completely because every word was true.

A sob climbed up my throat before I could stop it. I covered my mouth, trying to silence it, humiliated by how raw and broken I sounded in front of him.

“You loved me so purely, it was insanely scary….” I gasped as I choked softly on another sob. “Even when I woke up with you in my camper… we played Russian roulette… I broke right in front of me and you caved… You loved me through the knowledge of knowing what I did that will forever hurt you… I thought about holidays and birthdays…special moments for you that you would have to spend without the man I took out of your life… I didn’t want you to eventually wake up one day and realize that you needed to let me go…cause by then….” I looked away shamefully.

“Death would feel better than losing a man like you, Luca,” I whispered out.

“I couldn’t carry being the woman attached to your pain forever… I couldn’t breathe right with that guilt sitting on my chest every day.” I looked down at my trembling hands.

“So I convinced myself leaving was the only thing I could do for you.” A bitter laugh escaped me.

“If it makes you feel any better…” I backhanded my never ending tears.

“I didn’t even know I was pregnant when I left…”

His expression changed instantly to something I couldn’t read.

“I was so scared, I wrote a letter that I never sent off to you… I even contacted your mother and told her, hoping that she would tell you…. Still I was wrong.” My voice dropped into something barely audible.

Seconds started to feel like minutes. My eyes focused on the fluffy white carpet instead of his heated gaze. Just when I got ready to give him my back because the rejection of my confession hurt without no response from him. I stood there crying and craving to feel his warm embrace. Then his voice finally broke through the silence.

“Come here, Nova baby.” His voice came out rough enough to shake something loose inside of me.

I moved fast, practically tripping over my feet like I forgot how to properly walk. A broken sound left my throat when he opened his arms slightly for me. My knees nearly buckled from the relief of it alone. The second I reached him, my hand flattened against his hard chest to steady myself. The heat of him radiated beneath my palm. He felt strong, the smell of him so familiar and comforting as fresh tears stinged my eyes all over again.

God, I missed him… I missed this… the security of him… the feel of him… and the seductive masculine smell of him…

My eyes fluttered through the tears as my finger slowly dragged upward until they reached the deep scar running along the middle of his neck. The roughness beneath my fingertips made my heart skip a beat. I glanced up at him and his eyes was already locked on mine while my fingertips traced his scar gently.

Then he leaned down… and I stopped breathing.

He pressed his smooth lips against the deep scar on my forehead. The kiss and magnetic pull that his aura had over me caused me to shatter again. My eyes squeezed shut as emotion ripped through my chest so violently I almost sobbed out weakly again.

This was too intense, too emotional. Something I often strayed away from since I was so used of displaying strength and survival.

Luca’s hand slid behind my neck, he squeezed tightly then released when he felt the tension.

“I love you,” he whispered against my wounded skin.

His words wrapped around my damaged heart so tightly it felt like it stopped beating.