Page 59 of A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love

11.08.26- SOME PAIN CALL YOUR NAME QUIETLY.

Something woke me up, and it was heavy enough to pull me from my sleep, even though this wing of the house stayed uncomfortably quiet. Sluggishly, I sat up in bed then looked at the digital clock beside my bed that glowed red.

It was 3 a.m., and it felt like my anxiety was pressing against my ribs without explanation. My chest felt strange, and then I felt this nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. Novae fell asleep cranky earlier, so I brought her bassinet next to my bed. Even now, she fussed restlessly in her sleep with tiny whimpers while her small hand kept flexing against the blanket like she couldn’t settle comfortably in her sleep.

I felt a strong pull, and I knew where it was coming from without having to second-guess it. It was the same pull I felt being miles away from him.

Luca and I had been doing way better than where we were a week ago. When he came to see Novae, he talked more to me. Asked me questions concerning my well-being, yet, there was still this unspoken quietness like he wasn’t going to allow himself to fully open up to me again.

There was no doubt in my mind that since the first time I met Luca and felt his pain… I was a hundred percent sure that his pain had doubled. He didn’t have to open up fully to me for me to feel an intense pain radiating off of him. I was sure a lot of that hidden pain came from Lucille mysteriously dying. On top of her mysteriously dying, he also found out the huge role she played in killing his father.

That confession didn’t feel like a weight off of my shoulder. Because like I told Luca, I walked in Dontrell’s hotel with every intention of getting revenge for my parents. I refused to take advantage of him being vulnerable at the time back in his garden when he told me what really happened that day. I secretly hoped that his newfound knowledge gave him the closure he needed and the peace of knowing every small detail like I knew about my parents.

If I had the ability to love all of Luca’s pain away, I would. Since our talk last week, I had no yearning inside of me to want to leave his side…even if we didn’t end up together. I asked myself if that was what I truly wanted… to be with Luca, fight through our differences and trauma and allow myself to trust him a hundred percent.

My answer was yes.

Luca was the only man that went beyond the seven damn seas to pursue and love me even though he knew I was broken. He pursued and loved me even with the knowledge of my deadly sins against him. Still, I was under his roof with his baby, being loved by him from a distance, even though I hurt him yet again by hiding my pregnancy from him.

I didn’t deserve Luca, but I wanted him. I didn’t want to hurt him again by doing something drastic like trying to leave with Novae just because things weren’t right between him and I.

I wanted to stay, to prove to him with actions that I could be there for him. I could be a shoulder that he leaned on and confide in with no judgement. Mourning and healing took time; it took a while for me to understand that it could possibly be a lifetime thing depending how deep the trauma was.

Right now, I felt it in my bones that he wasn’t okay. That mattered to me… his well-being. He spent ninety-five percent of his time making sure that everyone else in his house and outside of his estate was okay. Who was there for him?

Novae whimpered again.

“Okay, mama,” I whispered softly while lifting her into my arms.

I inhaled her addicting baby scent and rocked on my feet from side to side to soothe her. Seconds later, she was sound asleep in my arms peacefully; her peace gave me peace effortlessly. Her warm little body was settled against my chest as her soft breaths brushed against my skin. I kissed the side of her head then left my room before I could overthink myself from checking in on Luca.

The six minute walk from the east wing to Luca’s side of the house felt longer tonight. My bare feet moved quietly against the polished hardwood while the dim lights casted a glow across different beautiful paintings. I made it toward the twin’s room and paused when I heard their voices arguing with one another in a hushed tone.

With my brows creased, I opened the door without knocking. Both of them nearly jumped off their bed in shock.

“Oh shit!” Cain was the first one to curse.

“Watch yo mouth.” I scowled, leaning against the doorframe.

I patted Novae’s bottom, although she was sound asleep then scanned their entire room. They were playing ‘Call of Duty’ with their headsets on. All sort of snacks were on the floor along with two boxes of Capri-Suns.

“Now I know Luca would be pissed to find out that the both of you are sneaking to play the game in the middle of the night…Miss Sandy and Mr. Rock will both be here in the morning for school,” I said in a low warning tone.

“How come you on this side of the house?” Cain asked, rolling his eyes.

Now was the perfect time to check him and let him know that I was still an adult that he was going to respect despite what he saw me and his uncle go through. I was a firm believer in kids staying in a kid’s place. While I knew Luca would check Cain with no problem if I mentioned to him how he never spoke when he came to my side of the house to visit with Novae… I wanted to be the one to establish the respect.

“Don’t worry about where I am and why. Turn off this game, and get in bed. If I come back and catch you two on the game… I’ll start coming in here every night to take all remote controls and devices.” I offered them both a pointed look.

“We sorry, Nova baby.” Abel was the first to break the silence after what I told them.

Him calling me the nickname that Luca gave me, melted my heart instantly. He got up with no problem, disconnected the game then placed his remote on the TV stand.

“Thank you, Abel.” I offered him a small smile.

I placed my gaze on Cain; for seconds we remained locked into a stare off.

“There’s something you want to say to me, Cain?” I raised a brow.