Page 16 of A Beast Captured My Heart

“So why you want to keep playing around and testing me? You want to be dead? You want another bitch to play the mommy role because I will do it! Someone inside of me wants me to kill you! It tells me that every fucking day!”

I snapped almost losing control again, the voice was back and it was all because of her once again. She sniffled and gave me those sad eyes as I struggled with my thoughts. I felt weak like I couldn’t breathe and I realized that I couldn’t hold the panic attack that was about to come over me.

“Get out Laquanna meet me at my mom's house.”

She wiped her tears and hurriedly ran out the door bleeding and all. It was the best I could offer her. I didn’t want her to see me like this. Holding my chest, I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I planned on helping Nicole and apologizing once again then leaving her alone for her own safety. First, I needed to get this panic attack under control. Fear crossed me as my chest got tighter, the voice kept talking in my head screaming loud at me with so much anger. I tried taking deep breaths and pouring water over me. Nothing seemed to work, my phone ranged. I answered it without looking at the caller I.D.

“Hello, Mr. Praise… I’m sorry to bother you but we need to talk.”

Just like that Kayori’s voice calmed me all the way down. Something about her soft delicate voice sent comfort my way. She didn’t even have to tell me that I was going to be ok, it was just in her voice alone. Taking deep breaths, the line went silent.

“I’m listening Kayori.”

Was all I could offer up as I took a couple more sips from the water and poured the rest of it on my shirt. My heartbeat slowed down to its normal pace and just like that, I was calm. It made me wonder was Kayori my source of medicine?

“My apologies again for bothering you. However, I needed to speak with you concerning my work hours. A lot of days I stay way past my time, you have me on a salary which is very good and helpful but lately, I’ve been here until eight pm. The latest is sometimes ten close to eleven.”

She cleared her throat. I gripped my phone tight the anger I had for Laquanna came rushing back.

“We will have a meeting together in a couple of days at my office. I’ll text you the information later on. I’ll call her uncle Stone to pick her up. My apologies and thank you. I’ll add a bonus check for your troubles.”

Laquanna was on bullshit. I wasn’t no take it to the courts to get custody type of nigga but she was about to push me to it.

“No problem, Praise. Mattea is a sweetheart I totally don’t mind it some days. I just have other things to handle sometimes.”

I wanted to ask her what was those other things. I knew it was none of my business so I wouldn’t cross the line with her for now. After that night of me touching and tasting her. I forced myself to fall back, Kayori was dangerous yet unpredictable. I wanted to gravitate towards her so bad but another part of me gave me a warning. I had my reservations and I couldn’t lie the way she reversed the tables on me a week ago had me pissed. The ball was always in my court and I dribbled and controlled that motherfucker.

“I understand, I’ll be in touch.”

Hitting the red button, I picked my phone up and texted Stone. I only trusted him with Mattea, she loved him and he did well with her. I was very disappointed that I would have to cut my trip short. Not before I rolled up on niggas and surprised them with my presence. When I got back into the living room, Nicole was in the same place. I scooped her small frame up as she cried about her nose. I assured her she would be ok. She said nothing to me and I understood her being disappointed. I felt bad but not bad enough, hopefully, this would be a learning moment for her to check before opening the door when a nigga like me was involved. Before I left, I helped her get cleaned up and called a hood doctor to help her out and prescribe her pain meds. Her nose was definitely fractured but not too bad. I wrote her a check for twenty thousand, left it on the dresser then headed to my mom’s house to face the fucking music.

Pulling up to my mom’s house, I took in my surroundings. I originally grew up in Compton Ca, when I hit about fifteen my mom moved me and Teflon to Gardena Ca. It was already too late; I was a full-fledged gang banger. I put in so much work, I already was considered an OG. It was still gangs in Gardena, yet the neighborhood was cleaner and quieter in my mom’s eyes. Her lawn was kept perfect, her rose garden was on the side of her brick house, looking colorful as ever. My mom, Miss. Leandra Renae Williams was the only neighbor in the city of Gardena period that had a brick house. The bricks gave her house an elegant old-school look. Last year I had her house remodeled inside out. She sat on her wooden bench smoking a cigarette glaring hard at me. I took one more tote from my blunt, took two pills out of my medicine bottle, and swallowed them down with the salvia in my mouth. I always checked my mental before going around her. It had been way over a month since I last saw my mom but she called to check in on me weekly.

She flicked her cigarette with her index finger and thumb. I watched it land outside of her white picket fence. Standing to her feet, she walked my way. Her short heavy frame walked with a purpose and that purpose could sometimes be alarming. Stepping out of the car, I gave her a crooked smile and hugged her tight. Once she kissed me on the cheek and hugged me once more, those gray eyes turned dark. She slapped me as hard as she could. Little did she know, I had already braced myself for her wrath. My mom didn’t raise me to hit women no matter what. I knew I was wrong and I was not about to debate it. I owned up to everything I did as a man.

“Praise Lameer Brownston! I did not raise you to be putting your hands on a woman!”

Both of her lips curled as if she was scolding a kid. I remained silent, I let her rant and rave. There was no point in over-talking my mom when she got on one.

“That girl could send you to jail! Or even worse take you to court for custody all she has to do is take a picture and get a fucking medical record to show in court what a danger you are to her and my grandbaby!”

I tucked my bottom lip and bit down hard on it. I never back-talked my mom, not even if I disagreed with her.

“I understand ma, I was wrong.”

“Have you been taking your medicine Praise?”

She almost whispered that part, I nodded my head. She tilted her head to the side and looked at me like I lost my mind.

“Yes momma, I have. Laquanna is just a trigger for me. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to be with her and she insists on it.”

I shook my head and leaned against my car. I didn’t know what I was going to do about her nutty ass. She’s the one that needed to be on some form of a crazy pill, not me.

“Well next time you have another grandbaby of mine, you will do well in picking the right woman.”

She huffed out as she reached in her bra to pull out another Newport long and light it. Taking a long drag from it she looked up at me with worry.

“No worries Ma, there will be no other woman with babies of mine, I make sure of it every time.”