Page 26 of A Beast Captured My Heart

Turning on his feet, he jogged back to his tinted Range. I made my way into the house with butterflies all in my stomach. I could still smell the cologne from Praise, it made me want to run right back outside and jump into his lap. I wanted to fuck Praise right now at this very moment. Reality set in, I had him exposed which wasn’t good. I never wanted to put his life and jeopardy. I found a peach-colored blazer set for tomorrow to wear to work. I got out my silk gown and sandals. I grabbed my toothpaste, toothbrush, perfume, and body butter made my way to the front door. I really couldn’t believe Praise had me stepping outside of my tight-ass box. I didn’t know what to make of none of this, Meshalay words echoed in my head. I need to live more and have a little fun. I was gon’ definitely live and explore Praise. He had me open as hell, I couldn’t deny it any longer. It was clear now, that he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. We both weren’t trying to rush anything and that was fine with me. I sent Lay a quick text letting her know that I would see her tomorrow evening when I got off work. I reassured her that everything was fine and I was finally taking her advice. When I got in the car, Praise smiled at me warming my heart up. His dimples sunk deep into his cheeks adding to his sex appeal.

“Open up them thighs, so I can play in that juicy pussy while we head to the tilt.”

He had me so gone I did as he said, unfastening my pants I leaned my seat back and enjoyed the powerful orgasm he gave me with his fingers.

Chapter Thirteen

PRAISE

“You said you would never replace me B you told me that! You said I was the only woman that would and could have your heart you lied to me.” Nia cried hard. My heart clenched tight and I shook my head no, desperately trying to reach for her hands she pulled away from me. That same sad look was evident on her face.

“I love you Nia, please I’m trying…”

“You never tried Beast! You’re a selfish fucking bastard! That’s why I’m still alive! I wanted to hurt you as bad as you hurt me!”

Her eyes turned red and a sinister smile took over her pretty face.

“You’re dead Nia. Stop haunting me, please. I can’t take this type of torment anymore. I’m so sorry baby!”

A beast version of me came into play as he roared aloud, his face was distorted, he had sharp teeth with a gun in his hand.

“This bitch was never for you Beast!! Let me fucking kill her! She’s not dead and I can’t wait for you to discover all the people that had a hand in this! LET ME FUCKING KILL HER NOW!”

His voice was so loud, it gave me a headache. My breathing became labored and I felt like everything including the walls was suffocating me.

“What the fuck is it going to be, Beast? She can’t take over you! I will kill this lying bitch before she does that to us to me! You need me Beast! I am you. You are me! Let me fucking kill her!”

A scary feeling was taking over me. It was like the Beast version of me was desperately trying to overcome me. I felt like I was fading to the background, a force so strong was trying to take over. Until I felt a hand caress my back, making me go still.

“Praise, are you ok?”

The voice was calm, yet reassuring. I still could not decipher if it was real or not so I remained quiet as angry tears fell down my face.

“Praise baby. Are you ok?”

This time I jumped up, heart speeding and thumping.

“I WISH Y’ALL WOULD LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”

I screamed so loud, I somehow snapped back into reality. I realized that I was inside my room, Kayori sat Indian-style on the bed with tears running down her chubby cheeks. I felt shameful and embarrassed. She definitely was going to leave my nutty ass alone. Usually, when I had these bad episodes they lasted longer, sometimes for hours.

“How long?” I asked with my shoulders dropped. I felt defeated. I usually never had an episode when I was around people. Sometimes it would be small, but I was always able to gain control fast. When I was alone, at home that’s when the voices and the visuals really fucked with me for hours at a time. I didn’t like to sleep longer because it would turn into a bad dream, then it would turn into something that seemed so real.

“Only for about thirty minutes Praise. You started tossing and turning, then you sat up and grabbed your gun. It seemed like you could really see who you were talking to.”

She sounded worried. When I realized I still had my gun in my hand, I set it down on the bed softly then walked away. I didn’t want to face her, I slipped up and forgot to take my damn pills. Picking up a blunt that I had pre-rolled into the ashtray, I grabbed my bottle of water along with my lighter. I was going to have to explain myself and I hated doing that shit. I didn’t like sympathy or people feeling sorry for me. I had no excuses for myself, I would fight this shit until the day I die. After I took my medicine, I took a seat on the toilet top and bowed my head. I hated this crying shit; I just became so frustrated and angry when it came to my mental. Why did I have to get this shit? A nigga was so fucked up in the head, I could’ve really hurt Kayori. I silently wished she would leave and I would understand if she didn’t feel safe or want to fuck around with my lunatic ass. The tears she had in her eyes let me know she was scared and felt bad for me. I didn’t like it one bit. Here it was in the middle of the night and I sat like a little bitch crying my heart out in the damn bathroom. I had a damn good evening with her yesterday, I cooked for her we ate and joked and enjoyed each other’s company. We had passionate raw sex and my feelings grew. When I fell asleep holding her, I felt complete and at peace. Now, this shit changed and I exposed myself. I didn’t know how to even explain it to her. Sparking up my blunt, Kayori walked into the bathroom smiling at me. She walked up to me saying absolutely nothing, which was appreciated at the moment. She grabbed the nape of my neck pulled my head into her pillow-soft stomach and stroked my back.

“There’s no judgment Praise. Who am I to pass judgment onto you? We all got our shit to deal with. It’s going to be ok and I’m here for you. That's what friends are for. You don’t have to talk about it now, but eventually, I would like for you to talk to me. Everyone needs someone to talk to. We can try to be each other’s therapist.”

She chuckled, I felt comfort and sincerity in her words. I embraced her tight and we stood like that for a couple more minutes. She grabbed my hand and I stood up to follow her back into my room. Kayori was my extra dose of medicine, I needed to do whatever it took to keep her around me. She fixed the bed and put my gun inside of the dresser, I didn’t attest to that at all. I even wondered what I would have done if she wasn’t here.

“It's four in the morning Praise. I got to be up for work in three hours. Let’s go back to sleep, you can drop me off at work and then we handle all of this later, okay?”

I nodded my head and got back into the bed, laying on my back. I loved that she was so comfortable sleeping naked under me. She snuggled up to my chest, then put her arm around my hard rock abs as her hands caressed them. She kissed me on my chest, I rubbed my callous rough hands through her thick soft mane.

“Get some rest Praise, close your eyes and try to relax.”

I did just that then fell back into a peaceful sleep. I needed Kayori. This was different and rare, she was the missing puzzle. Shit was complicated with me; I trusted her and barely knew her. Like she said we could be each other’s therapist, I liked the sound of that shit.