Page 13 of No Darker Temptation

Before my brother and I can spew more venom at each other, Lettie says in a quiet voice, “You’ve been like this since Dahlia left.”

Both Diego and I look at each other—him in shock and me…in fear.

She’s put to words what I’ve tried in vain to escape the last few weeks, hoping if I buried myself in work, I could manipulate myself into thinking it doesn’t exist. This gnawing feeling in the center of my chest, eating its way through me, leaving holes and gaps through which pieces of myself seem to escape. Air never properly fills my lungs, my ribs ache with every moment, and no matter what I do, the vice grip around my heart never loosens. My body tingles with numbness where the blood isn’t quite reaching the way it should.

And it’s been like that ever since she left.

“Are you afraid?” Lettie asks.

There’s no use lying to her. To either of them, for that matter. There are no secrets between us. “I am.”

“Why?”

I haven’t figured that part out yet.

“Is it because you think she’ll stay in New York?” Diego asks. “Or because you’re afraid she’ll want to come back?”

“Both, I think.” I flex my fists again, welcoming the sting of pain. “Terrified of what will happen if she doesn’t choose me. Living in fear of the day she does. I…I hadn’t meant to fall in love with her.”

It’s the first time I’ve said it aloud. Until now, I hadn’t even admitted as much to myself. The weight of my confession rolls off my shoulders and I sinking deeper into my seat, allowing the relief to wash over me. My eyes flutter shut and for a moment, I can almost fool myself into thinking I’m not as afraid as I actually am.

“After Regina, I didn’t think myself capable of love again. Not because she betrayed me, although that played a big role. Rather, I was disillusioned by the whole thing. In my mind, I’d done everything right. I was honest and vulnerable. I mimicked everything we ever saw between our parents and yet, not only did it fail, but it completely blew up in my face.” My gaze darts between the both of them. “What if that happens again? What if I bring someone new into our family, someone we come to love and get used to, only for it to fail? It’s been just us three for so long. I wouldn’t even know how to make room for one more.”

“It helps that we actually like Dahlia,” Lettie soothes, gently patting my knee. “I always thought Regina was a real bitch.”

Diego snorts with laughter and an involuntary smile takes form on my lips. I reach out to cup her cheek affectionately. “You took to her very quickly. I know you must miss her.”

“She felt like one of us. Even under the circumstances.” Lettie turns to our brother for support, and he nods.

“I agree. But I also think you made the right decision in sending her away.”

“How so?”

“She needs to choose you, Alex.” he tells me. “Otherwise, you’d be trapping her all over again and I know that’s the last thing you want to do.”

WHAT THE FUTURE LOOKS LIKE

Alejandro

The next morning, I wake before dawn and take a drive to the villa.

For the most part, I’ve avoided spending any time here the last few weeks. It’s been my best defense against recurring memories of Dahlia but seeing as how all I’ve been doing is thinking about her lately, I may as well be here, where her scent still lingers and her bedroom is exactly as she left it.

When Dahlia left, she refused to take anything with her. Admittedly, it stung. It felt like a rejection, as if she was trying to erase any trace of me from her life. After some time to sit with my thoughts, I think I understand her better now. Taking these things with her would’ve only served as a constant reminder of our summer together, one that started as a fantasy and quickly turned into a nightmare.

Every single day I wish I hadn’t laid eyes on her that afternoon in El Aliciente. I wasn’t even supposed to be there—I wasn’t even supposed to be in the country. Lettie spent most of her time in Italy helping Abuelo, Diego had a solid hold on the city, and I was sick of being in Spain. I’d had plans to spend a few months on the family compound in Colombia where my uncle Horacio and cousin Anthony live. Spain has been home for a few years now and I was in desperate need of a fresh start. But before that, I needed to clear my head. Re-ground myself.

Lettie and Diego had the Garcia situation under control. Originally, I was supposed to leave the weekend before. Then the night before. Then something happened with Lettie’s little concoction for Garcia’s food, I grew anxious, and promised myself I’d leave the next morning instead. I’d already said goodbye to everyone by the time El Aliciente closed to get ready for lounge hours. In fact, at the last minute, I decided to go downstairs and tell Diego the plane was ready for me but that I’d stay until Garcia was dealt with in case he needed me.

I wasn’t supposed to be there that afternoon. But the second I laid eyes on her, the tenuous string of control I had wielded over my life like a weapon the last few years snapped and everything spiraled out of control. The entire trajectory of my existence had been blown off course and set on an entirely new one, seemingly predestined.

In the beginning, it was careless. A beautiful girl in a foreign country whom I was certain I’d never see again had become my newest obsession. All of that changed when I put her in danger. Became even worse when somewhere between protecting her and ruining her life I fell in love.

I hadn’t meant to. Hadn’t wanted to. It was something I simply couldn’t help. If Vallvidrera never happened and she left the next morning as planned, I think I would’ve loved her anyway and just not known it. Living instead haunted by the memory of two weeks I’d stolen from fate that should never have been mine.

I sit in my office and bury myself in work for a few hours but not before setting an alarm on my phone. The second it rings, the clock notifies me of the time difference between here and New York—it’s eight in the morning over there. Closing out the tabs I have open, I place a FaceTime call on my laptop as my phone continues to charge. Dahlia answers on the second ring.

“Good morning!”