Page 58 of No Darker Temptation

“What?”

When she blinks, her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “You tried to reach for me and I pulled away. I’ve never seen you look so…so horrified before, like you’d seen a ghost⁠—”

I know I should wait for her permission but I’m not going to stand here with my hands folded and not touch her. I move across the bed and when I reach for her, she lets me, melting into the safety of my embrace as I pull her against me, shielding her from the rest of the world when what I should be protecting her from is me.

“I’m sorry,” she cries softly against my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

I could kill right now if the person making her cry wasn’t me.

“Why are you sorry? There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I’m the one who should be apologizing, almost touching you with these filthy, bloodstained hands.”

“I feel so guilty. I made you think I was afraid of you.”

I don’t respond right away. “Are you?”

Dahlia stills against me. I let her pull away but don’t release her completely. “I know you’d never hurt me.”

“That’s not what I asked, Dee.”

She doesn’t look at me when she says, “Sometimes, it’s what you’re capable of that scares me.”

I wish I knew what to say to ease her mind. Anything I come up with would only worsen the situation. I can’t tell her that he was a horrible, vile man who deserved to die the death I gave him because the truth is, he’s only dead because he got in my way. Skewed as it may be, my moral compass navigates through areas of shaded gray whereas Dahlia has always lived in the black and white. Telling her this is what happens to people who cross me or become a disturbance will only drive her further away.

I cradle her face in my hands and wipe away every stray tear that falls. “Would you change me? If you could?”

She shakes her head. “Alejandro⁠—”

“Be honest. Please.”

“I love you. I know who you are. The rest doesn’t matter to me. Please.” She moves onto my lap and presses her lips against mine. “Can we forget about it? I want to forget and if you keep reminding me, I’ll only feel worse about it.”

I’ve never been able to deny her anything before. So even as she removes my shirt, fingers trembling as they run down my arms, I let her. Maybe it’s wrong of me not to push her away but my sense of morality ends where she begins.

I drop my head and bury my face in the crook of her neck as she spreads her legs, wrapping them both around my waist as she grinds her hips against me. She smells decadent, sinful, her skin smooth and unblemished. I glide my tongue over her collarbone and up the column of her neck before sinking my teeth into the erratic heartbeat I feel pulsing against my lips. She gasps and her hips jerk forward, the hem of her flimsy nightgown riding up her thighs.

“You restrain yourself when you’re with me…don’t you?”

Her question catches me off-guard. “What?”

“When we’re together…do you restrain yourself?”

“I’m not sure how to answer that question.”

“I want you to show me what it’d be like. If you didn’t keep that part of yourself from me.”

Dahlia

“Dahlia, being with you isn’t about restraint or control. In fact, when I’m with you, I’m finally at peace. I can let my defenses down when we’re together in a way I can’t in the real world,” he tells me. “And I can do that because I know my vulnerability is safe with you. Not because I’m restraining myself.”

I’ve spent all day running circles in my mind over an interaction I wish I’d never seen but will now never forget. Even with the echoes of that man’s screams rattling around inside my head, they still pale in comparison to the roaring in my veins every time he touches me. Because I want him more than I fear him and if ever there existed an ounce of self-preservation in me, it evaporated the moment he forced himself into my life.

And I would not have it any other way.

Alejandro gets up and there’s a moment where I think he might say something. Instead, he walks to his side of the bed and turns the lamp off before climbing in. He lies there and makes no attempt to touch me when I’m certain he’s aching to do just that.

Without turning around, I move closer, waiting for him to at least kiss my cheek and tell me goodnight. After a few minutes, his arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me flush against him. Intimate without engaging. I bite down on the inside of my cheek and debate saying something but decide against it. Instead, I move closer, grinding my backside against his hardening cock, hoping he’ll get the hint. Just when I think he’s fallen asleep, his hand creeps down the front of my nightgown and dips between the valley of my breasts. A gasp catches in my throat as he descends further, slipping between my thighs, where he pinches my clit through the fabric. I writhe against him, hoping to increase the friction.

Silk fabric gathers in his palm as he pulls the nightgown up over my thighs and stops when the hem reaches my hipbone. This time when his hand dips between my legs he finds the skin there bare.