Page 123 of No Greater Oblivion

“She used to speak so well!” Karina says in my defense. “Then in school it kind of faded. It happens.”

At this point, I’ve tuned them all out. I pick up the remote and raise the volume, leaning forward on the sofa as if being closer to the television might bring me closer to the memory itself.

The camera gets set down momentarily while Gabriela and Gael speak in hushed tones. Meanwhile, little me runs over to the Christmas tree and starts wrapping tinsel and ribbons around myself. Karina comes into view and starts helping me by converting leftover wrapping paper into a skirt which she uses string to tie around my waist.

“Look, we made a dress!” Karina exclaims.

She runs over and picks up the camera.

“Karina, be careful with that!”

Brent leans over to kiss his wife’s cheek and it doesn’t evade my notice how Diego abruptly looks away and Karina shrinks in on herself, uncomfortable with his affection.

Little me runs across the room but trips and falls. Immediately, I start crying and somewhere out of view of the camera, my arms extend to the person approaching.

“What happened? Is she okay?” Mom says in the background.

The camera gets snatched away from Karina and she whines in protest while it’s propped up someplace high she can’t reach. Luckily for the rest of us as we can finally see what’s going on.

Papi picks me up and I burrow into his side. He murmurs in my ear and kisses my cheek before sitting down on the couch where Mom rolls her eyes but there’s a touch of playfulness to it.

“Gael, she didn’t break a bone.”

Papi wipes the tears from my cheeks and kisses the top of my head. “¿Estás bien?” he asks. “Tienes que tener más cuidado, princesa, sino te vas a lastimar.”

I watch as a three-year-old me gets onto her knees and kisses his cheek while he holds her, careful to avoid any invisible injuries. The little girl in the video first pretends it’s her foot then her knee. Then her chin and her arm. Gael makes sure to kiss each injury while Gabriela watches on, tickling under her neck while the three of them laugh.

Finally, Karina jumps in front of the camera again. “Everyone look, I made up a dance!”

This time the laughter comes from here and not the television. Karina gets up to demonstrate for everyone the dance being shown in the video but she almost trips and Brent has to jump up to catch her.

“Look what I got!”

Tia Paula returns with a half a dozen photo albums in her arms. She lays them out on the coffee table and hands them out like birthday cake at a party.

“When I was around fifteen, I had to drop out of ninth grade. Once my younger siblings were old enough I moved to San Juan where my Godparents owned a restaurant. I worked as a waitress for a few years while I finished school.” She opens one of the albums and starts to flip through. “It’s how I met Karina’s father. I wanted to enroll in nursing school and Rogelio was a student working in the admissions office.”

Alejandro smiles. “My parents met at university.”

“Did they?” Tia Paula smiles in return. “Where?”

“In New York. My father was a year older and leading freshman orientation…”

At some point, their voices all fade to the background. I flip through the album from my parents’ college years and don’t see a young couple falling in love. I see one future stolen and the other one cut short. Suddenly, I can’t stand to be in this room anymore, surrounded by home videos and old photos. I get up to leave and head straight for the hall hoping to make a clean escape.

“Hey,” Lettie turns. “Where are you going?”

“To get napkins…” I mutter but I doubt she hears me.

I doubt anyone does.

30

IF YOU SEE TOO MUCH

Alejandro

The Past