Page 150 of No Greater Oblivion

I expected us to go down in flames. Something catastrophic, explosive, and cataclysmic. There’d be screaming, crying, shattered objects. Emotion.

In reality, it is very quiet and very sad. I don’t think either of us is speaking the same language anymore. We’re completely lost in translation so what would be the point in trying?

Yet still, I wait. Maybe he’ll come to his senses. He’ll look at me and I’ll see the moment my Alejandro comes back. He’ll embrace me, apologize to me, tell me he loves me. I’ll be the center of his universe again and everything will be right with the world. In the morning he’ll tell me what’s on his mind and I’ll tell him how I’ve felt all these months. We’ll work through it together and we’ll be okay.

Too much time passes and I hold my breath. No, of course he wouldn’t do those things.

He doesn’t have the capacity for them. And I respect myself too much to sit around and wait for him to remember I exist.

“Está bien, Alejandro. Como quieras.”

I walk past him and for a moment—a split second of time and nothing more—I think he reaches for me. I feel the brush of his arm against mine.

I keep walking and he doesn’t follow. I go all the way to our bedroom where I lock the door behind me and come up with a plan. Within the hour, I’ve showered, changed, and packed everything I could into the only two pieces of luggage I’m confident I can wheel by myself. Only the necessities and my keepsake box are coming with me.

Once I’ve allowed my mind and body to shut down it becomes easier to move through the motions. I wheel my luggage out of the apartment and down the steps of the foyer. The house doors open and a stream of laughter and singing echoes throughout the room. Diego and Lettie enter first, presumably having just returned from their grandfather’s party in Vallvidrera, followed by their security detail.

Lettie is the first one to see me and the light in her expression diminishes upon seeing my luggage. “Dahlia?”

“I need someone to drive me to the airport. I was going to do it myself but I can’t leave my car there.” I look at Diego. “Can you drive me? Or have you been drinking?”

He stumbles over his words. “I…well, um, I haven’t.”

“Then I need you to drive. Please.” Sensing the question before it comes, I say, “Your brother is here…somewhere.”

Paco steps out from behind Diego and makes for the stairs but I cast my eyes in his direction, pinning him in place.

“Don’t bother him until morning.” My voice is firm when I speak and so unlike how I feel on the inside. “I mean it.”

Lettie’s eyes well with tears as she approaches. “Dee, please…”

“You can come with us if you’d like.” I extend one of the suitcases to her. “Could you help me?”

Diego, whom up until now, had been frozen in place finally leaps to action. He takes the handle of both suitcases from me and when the men look to him for instruction, his expression hardens.

“You heard her. Not a word until morning.”

The drive to the airport is spent mostly in silence, save Diego’s occasional plea for me to wait until morning. Or at least until he can charter a plane for me. I tell him there’s no need. From the backseat, I purchase a ticket on my phone and text Lyss the details. She’s confused at first, but I promise to call her in a bit and fill her in. Instinctively, I almost send a text to Karina too when I remember we aren’t speaking anymore and likely won’t ever again.

Lettie cries quietly from the front seat but makes no effort to dissuade me from my decision. If anything, she keeps her chin held high and even fixes my hair when we get out of the car. Something about the wind tousling my waves.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to go in with you?” Diego asks.

“I’m fine. I promise.”

I hug him first and then Lettie who holds on much tighter and for much longer. As soon as we pull away, the reality of my decision begins to settle in.

Is this a mistake?

Am I being irrational?

Should I wait until morning like Alejandro asked?

The doubt must be written across my face because Lettie says, “We could call him. There’s still time.”

Time? Time for what?

They could call but what if he doesn’t answer his phone? They could call and he could answer but what if he doesn’t want to stop me from leaving? What if deep down he’s been pushing me away for this exact reason; so that I’d make the decision to leave on my own.