Page 62 of No Greater Oblivion

“Second, you have to do something. Anything. Pick up a skill or a job. Those are your choices.”

“Why do I have to do either?”

“Don’t you want to have a career one day?”

“Careers are for poor people.”

“Leticia.”

“What?” she says, lips pursing. “I’m not apologizing. It’s the truth. If I want to be a woman of leisure, I can be. I have more money than I can spend in a lifetime.”

“My money, actually, and you are very good at spending it.” I grab one of the ottomans and pull it across the room so I’m seated across from her. “There has to be something you’re passionate about. Something you love or are interested in. You can’t tell me you never thought about it before.”

Lettie bows her head slightly as her gaze drops to her lap. She fiddles with the ring around her finger and the loose threads on her fuzzy robe. Sensing she’s holding back, I reach out and squeeze her knee.

“Lettie, to be honest, I don’t really care what you do with your life. All I want is for you to be happy,” I tell her. “But you still need to learn basic life skills. One day, you’ll have access to your inheritance which means you need to learn how to manage it on your own. I can’t do everything by myself and most importantly, I don’t want you to become incompetent. People like us can’t afford to be. Do you understand?”

After a moment she nods and covers my hand with hers. “And you’re sure we can’t hire an accountant?”

I almost smile. “No, Lettie. There are certain things we need to learn how to do for ourselves. The only people we can truly trust in this world is our family. Especially when it comes to money.”

“I just—” She hesitates, searching for the words. “I’m not like you guys.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone is so good at what they do. Diego and Arias know their way around a computer. You and Antonio are business minded. All our other cousins have found their place in the family company. And Dahlia?” she shakes her head frantically. “She’s like…a freaking prodigy. I could never do what she does. She’s so smart and talented. And you and Diego are so confident and self-sufficient.”

Her voice catches. “I guess I don’t know myself as well as everyone else knows themselves. No matter how hard I try, I can’t picture a future for myself. I’m not good at anything, I don’t have any natural talent⁠—”

“You’re wrong,” I tell her firmly. “There are so many things you’re good at.”

“Really? Name one.”

“Fashion, obviously.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Twelve-year-olds have fashion sense. I dress you because you’re inept and would probably style black pants and brown shoes.”

I make a face. “I know enough not to pair black pants and brown shoes.”

She ignores me. “I’m useless and directionless. I’m not good at anything. I don’t have it in me like the rest of you.”

“How will you ever find your calling if you refuse to step out of your comfort zone?” I ask. “I know part of that is my own doing. In many ways you’ve been coddled and sheltered. There hasn’t been much room for you to explore.”

Immediately, her tone turns serious. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. If you’re feeling this way it’s because you haven’t been given the room you need to grow…” I trail off. “I guess I haven’t done a very good job, have I?”

Lettie studies me a long while and whispers. “You did the best you could.”

“I want you to spread your wings. If it means university, traveling, or maybe spending some time with Tia Leticia or Tio Horacio to learn about the business. Whatever it is, I want you to explore. Figure yourself out and make mistakes along the way. Dad would’ve wanted that.”

“Dad wanted children who made him proud like you and Diego did.”

“He’d have been proud of you too, Leticia. Dad adored you. I know you were little when he died and you may not remember as much as me or Diego but he loved you. All he wanted was your happiness. The rest was immaterial.”

Dad isn’t a topic we broach often. She was only nine when he died and while she was old enough to have memories of him, they’re very different from the ones Diego and I share. Lettie was a Daddy’s Girl through and through and while Dad was affectionate and loving toward all his children, he was harder on my brother and me. Especially me. I was the eldest son and I felt the weight of his expectations on my shoulders.

Most of what I remember from my teen years was how structured Dad was. He was determined to raise his sons as honorable and respectable men. Ones who kept their word, protected the family, and knew how to defend themselves. At the time, I sometimes resented how he couldn’t be gentler but as an adult, I realize he did it out of fear. He didn’t know if the bright new world and legitimate family legacy he envisioned would ever come to fruition. And if ever he was a little harsh, it was because he was trying to prepare Diego and me for the worst-case scenario. Seeing as how we’re living it now, I’d say he made the right decision.