Page 86 of No Greater Oblivion

My wine glass almost topples over. I catch it in time.

“I think you’re confusing being unwanted with having freedom. Alejandro didn’t let you go because he didn’t care. He did it because he cared too much to force you to stay,” she says. “Gael didn’t fight for you because he was an unfit father who didn’t deserve to be in your life.”

“Jesus, Alyssa…” I mutter. “No need to attack my Achille’s heel.”

“Why not? You asked me because you knew I’d tell you the truth so I am. You will never be happy in a relationship until you confront your inner demons.”

“Yes, well…I have one too many.”

“I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m saying this because I love you, Dahlia. I care. I may not always agree with your choices on how you live your life but my job isn’t to make decisions for you. It’s to bring you back to yourself when you’ve strayed too far.” She hesitates. “And you’ve gone too far. Especially with Rian. It was wrong of you to use him that way. What he feels for you is real.”

Tightness in my throat makes it difficult to breathe. Tears prickle behind my eyes and I run my fingers through my hair, applying pressure to my temples where a migraine is mounting.

“What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“Sweetheart,” she says gently. “I don’t think you can.”

A tear manages to fall free and I wipe it away quickly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.”

“Why do you keep me around?”

I frown. “What kind of a question is that?”

“One that requires an honest answer. Am I here because we’re friends or because I’m your friend?”

It takes me a while to find the right answer. “You’re the only person in the world who’s known every version of me.”

“Not Karina?”

“I long ago came to the very difficult realization I loved Karina more than she loved me.” My chest aches and I fold my hands to keep them from trembling. “When I asked you to move in with me last year, I did it because I wanted to help you. It was my way of trying to thank you for everything you’ve done for me as a friend. I guess maybe somewhere along the way I lost sight of that.”

“Of what?”

“Of what it means to be a real friend.” Blinking profusely, I chase away fresh tears. “Lyss, I need to ask you. Are you and Rian⁠—”

“We’re home!”

We both look over just in time to watch Alejandro and Doña Ana emerge from the vestibule. Alejandro’s hair is covered in snow and Doña Ana’s sandy cheeks are flushed with color.

“¡Está nevando otra vez!” she exclaims giddily.

Alejandro isn’t pleased. “She says that because she’s lived in warm climates her whole life. The novelty of snow hasn’t worn off yet.”

“¡Me voy a cambiar!”

She walks through the sitting room, breakfast room, and into the kitchen where the door to her apartment downstairs is. The entire garden level is hers, equipped with its own kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room. As much as I enjoy her company, I know how much she values her alone time so the apartment is her sanctuary. Lyss and I have only ever been down there a few times and that’s because below her is the cellar where all the power and waterlines are.

Alejandro leaves a handful of grocery bags on the island before he undresses and hangs up his coat on the hook next to mine. Times like these I wish I could pluck my eyes out.

He’s so fucking hot. The son of a bitch probably wore a turtleneck on purpose because he knows how good he looks in them. Tears forgotten, I want to slam my face into the marble countertop until my brain is mush.

The black turtleneck is tucked into a pair of dark, olive green slacks whose color matches his suede blazer. He hesitates by the coat rack and then removes his blazer as well.

“What’s with the bags?” Lyss asks.