Page 12 of No Merciful Corruption

“Matthew Rodriquez’s dad was in jail less than forty-eight hours ago and he still showed up today. Nina’s dad was half an hour late but he didn’t miss it when it was her turn to go up to the podium. And Kosta’s dad is dead but he still left behind money to take care of his family. Maybe mine should die in a plane crash too, maybe then he’ll actually be of use to us!”

Her eyes widen in horror. “Dahlia.”

“It’s true! He’s useless. He can’t do anything right. Why does everyone else’s dad care enough to show up but mine doesn’t? Papi doesn’t even try. He passes through our lives like we’re some stop on the way to a greater destination and I’m tired of it. I’d rather be orphaned than have a parent like that. I’d rather the next time he disappears, he doesn’t come back at all!”

I don’t realize I’m screaming until the whole block goes quiet. Blood rushes in my ears and my heart is racing. A migraine bursts to life between my temples and the burn in my throat tells me I must’ve been screaming from the top of my lungs.

Lyss’s eyes are watery with tears. “Dee…I think you should turn around.”

Giovana buries her face in her hand and Mom remains stoic, face red and cheeks scarred with tears. I almost wonder if they’ve seen a ghost or if God Himself split open the sky to cast me down. Well, He may as well have.

Because when I turn around, Papi is there, standing on the edge of the sidewalk in his Sunday best with a bouquet of dahlias in his hand.

He doesn’t say anything and somehow, that makes it worse.

Just when I think the ground is going to open up and swallow me whole, I feel Lyss come up beside me. She takes my hand and says, “Dahlia’s going to have dinner with us tonight…if that’s okay.”

She doesn’t wait for anyone’s permission. We cross the street to where her dad is parked and Liam, her eldest brother, gets out to open the door for us.

The whole time I keep expecting something will happen. Papi will run across the street and open the car door and Mom will beg me to go home with them instead. Instead, we ride all the way to Lyss’s house in silence.

* * *

“I bet if I was dying in a hospital bed he wouldn’t even come to see me.”

Lyss steps out of her closet. “Don’t say that!”

“It’s true.” I say as I count the little bumps on her popcorn ceiling. “I could be bleeding out from like…a paper cut or a bullet wound or something and he still wouldn’t show.”

“I disagree.” She walks over to her mirror and pushes up her breasts. “All dads love their little girls.”

“Mine used to. I don’t know when he stopped.”

Lyss presses her lips together as she examines the contents of her dresser. She reaches for the box of tissues and starts stuffing her training bra again. “Do you think he has another family? Some guys do. That’s what happened to Sean Brown’s parents in the third grade and why his mom moved them to North Carolina.”

“I doubt it. He doesn’t even have time for the one he already has.” I roll over in bed and tuck the One Direction pillow under my cheek. “I don’t know what my mother ever saw in a man like him.”

“Maybe their marriage is going through a rough patch. My parents get like that too sometimes.” She purses her lips. “When do you think I’ll finally be able to fill a c-cup?”

“I’ll never have a relationship like theirs,” I muse aloud. “I’ll choose a better man. One that loves me.”

Lyss moves away from the dresser and sits on the edge of the bed. Tissues stick out from the top of her ruffled shirt. “Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on them? I’m sure it’s just…grown-up stuff.”

“Grown-up stuff?” I repeat. “You call grown-up stuff being so dysfunctional that your teenage daughter picks up on it? They suck. Big time.”

“Major.” She agrees.

“Huge!”

“What do you think they’re doing now?”

“Who knows. Probably fighting over whose fault it is that all three of us are miserable. I blame my mom.”

“And not your dad?”

“Him too but I wish she’d realize he doesn’t love us. At least not enough to be better. I don’t know how or when it all went wrong between them but for the last few years, he just avoids being home. He’s always working.”

“He’s trying to provide for you,” Lyss counters.