Page 135 of No Merciful Corruption

“I did!”

“Technically, it isn’t a walk of shame.” Sebastian points out. “They’re married.”

“Trust me. I saw the look on my cousin’s face. The way that man put her through the mattress was shameful.”

Sofia studies me with a careful, inquisitive look. “I just can’t picture Karina…you know. She’s so uptight.”

“Those tend to be the freakiest ones!”

“Okay,” Sebastian grabs his plate and leaves the table. “I need to remove myself from this conversation.”

Sofia and I gossip for a little while longer before the family starts getting ready to head to mass. Santa Lucia is only a twenty-minute drive from here but the main city, Manizales, is about two hours away so we’ll be attending Easter service at the local church instead.

As we’re cleaning up our plates, I hear the sound of vibrating metal and look down. Alejandro’s phone blinks to life with a photo of his mother and dread sinks to the pit of my stomach. Sofia heads back into the house when beckoned by her own mother and I pick up the phone, prepared to answer, when an arm wraps around me from behind.

Alejandro takes the plate from my hand and kisses my cheek. “Don’t lift a finger. I’ll clean up here.”

I hold up the phone. The second he sees his mother’s photo, his mood sobers.

He takes the phone and shoves it into his pocket. Eventually, the call goes to voicemail.

“What was the point in making up with her if you aren’t going to actually make up with her?” I ask.

“You know how you feel about your father?”

“I should hit you over the head for comparing that lovely lady to my father of all people.” I fix him with a hard stare. “She came to our wedding, Alex.”

“I know.”

“Almost a year ago.”

He nods but says nothing. We walk back into the house together and he leaves my plate in the kitchen before we head upstairs to change for mass.

“How long has she been calling?” I ask.

“A little less than a month ago.” He rubs his jaw. “I love my mother. I always have. But we keep each other at a distance for a reason. Things will be different once the business is in a better place.”

“You’ll be waiting forever to have a relationship with your mother if your hope is to have the business in order.” I tell him. “She’s the last parent you have and I know she’s dying for the chance to be a real grandmother. Give it to her. She may surprise you.”

RED HERRING

Alejandro

Ican’t focus during mass.

Dahlia hits me twice with the hymnal when I forget to kneel and make the sign of the cross. I keep thinking about my mother and the dozen phone calls I haven’t answered in the past few weeks.

Mom is a sensitive topic for me—for all of us. She wasn’t in her right mind when Dad died and we’ve all forgiven her for it. The part I’ve always struggled with was how she completely cut herself off from this way of life, even at the expense of her relationship with her children. She wasn’t completely absent from our lives afterward but her presence dwindled until it nearly vanished completely. It got to the point where we didn’t even know where she was living anymore and she had to be tracked down.

Years ago when I sent Dahlia home after that first summer, I went looking for her. I found she’d been living in the Rio Grande house for a while and I almost went to see her. Why, I don’t know. I guess it had been the first time in a long time where I’d genuinely longed for my mother. Her presence, her guidance, her wisdom. I had needed a parent. But I never sought her out.

Things changed a little bit after Allegra was born. Diego really wanted Mom to be there and it opened the door of communication for us in a big way.

Now I can’t help but wonder if, like that year Dahlia spent in New York, I waited too long. Not to apologize to my mother but maybe finally muster up the courage to demand one for me.

I don’t want my mother to be an outsider in her own family. I want my children to know their grandmother and I want her to grow old with us but I can’t do that yet. Whatever I’ve done to push her away, I’m willing to ask forgiveness for it. I’m willing to forgive her for but she has to ask for it first.

Maybe I need to give her the opportunity.