Page 31 of No Merciful Corruption

“Did you not care enough? Was I not worth fighting for? Did you think I would come crawling back on my own? Tell me—what was it?”

“Don’t—” His voice catches. “Don’t say it like that, Dee…you weren’t giving me a chance⁠—”

“You have had an entire year’s worth of chances and I have had an entire year of waiting for you to take them. You just didn’t want to. I must not be worth it to you⁠—”

“That’s not true, Dahlia.” His voice is firm but laced with desperation. “It isn’t true.”

“Then what! What was it?” I cry. “Why did you wait all this time?”

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me⁠—”

“Bullshit! You didn’t come because you were a fucking coward and you wanted me to do all the work.” I argue. “I don’t even care anymore about why I left, I care that it didn’t matter enough to you that I did.”

Alejandro either has nothing to say or can’t bring himself to say it.

“Do you actually love me or are you just jealous I was dating Rian? Because part of me thinks you care more about that than you do about me.”

His expression contorts with disgust as he applies pressure to his temples. “¿Cómo se te ocurre decir algo tan ridículo?”

“It’s not ridiculous!”

“Por supuesto que lo es y dejame decirte una cosa,” his tone turns serious. “We are not going to spend the rest of our lives going back and forth about this. That’s it, I’m sick of it. We’re arguing in circles and I’m done—ya, ¡se acabó!”

“Alex—”

“I love you, you love me, and that’s it. We’ll get over it. Figure it out and move on.”

“Get over it?”

Did he even listen to a single word I said?

I slide off the stool, abandoning my meal and this conversation. “Whatever, Alex.”

“Dahlia—Dahlia,” He reaches for me like he’s terrified I might turn to mist between his fingertips. He takes my face in his hands and says my name the way he used to: without the weight. “Dahlia, desde el fondo de mi alma, te pido—te ruego—que me perdones. Please, forgive me. I’m sorry. I’ll tell you in every language I know, as many times as you need to hear it. I’ll show you for the rest of our lives. Let’s just⁠—”

He stops at the unsteady tremor in his voice. “What I’m trying to say is I don’t want us to keep fighting about the same thing over and over again. We’re going in circles—it’s annoying, it’s exhausting. I should not have lied about the fire or Regina or kept so much a secret. I should not have shut you out and I should’ve gone after you when you left. Dee…come on. You know you’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

“Alejandro, that’s the problem! I’m trying to tell you I don’t feel like I am and⁠—”

He must sense I’m getting worked up again because he lifts a hand in surrender. “Okay, okay, okay. Fine. Fine.” He pulls me closer and refuses to let go. “Give me the chance to show you then. Please.”

He must misinterpret my silence as rejection because he holds onto me a little tighter when all I want to do is get away. I need to sit with this and sort through my thoughts and emotions. Alejandro may have endless amount of fight in him but I don’t. If we go at this a second time I need to be sure we can make it work.

More than anything else in the world, I want him to stay. But I also want him to want to stay, even without me asking. Maybe I’m being difficult, prideful, and asking for too much but this was the same ultimatum he gave me nearly three years ago. Stay out of love, out of want, and out of desire, not for any other reason.

The bell rings and the sound sends a jolt though my system. It feels almost sinful to disturb the sanctity of this moment but reality has already begun to seep through the cracks. I go to answer the door but he holds me in place. “Let Doña Ana get it.”

“It could be important.” For a brief moment, I’m reminded of the many occasions Alejandro chose someone or something else over me. All the times he left our outings early if he even remembered to attend at all. How my heart seized with anxiety every time his phone rang and I wasn’t sure if he’d answer or not. Footsteps in the house alert us to Doña Ana’s presence. “What if it’s Sasha?”

“He would’ve called. Dahlia, just wait,” He leans against the table for support and draws me closer. I melt into his touch as he drags his hands up and down my trembling arms, creating heat where goosebumps have formed. “I’m not doing this anymore. I’ve had enough of fighting with you. If you want me to meet you halfway then fine. I love you. I want to be with you and if that means moving to New York, then I will. Say the word and I will.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “I⁠—”

The bell rings a second time and I hear the foyer door open. Doña Ana must’ve been further away from the front entrance than I thought.

Alejandro’s eyes narrow. “Is it Rian?”

“Rian has nothing⁠—”