Page 52 of No Merciful Corruption

“He didn’t,” she says.

The room falls silent afterward.

Karina puts her cup down on the coffee table and hugs her knees against her chest. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail and she changed out of her work clothes into comfortable tights and a knitted shirt with long sleeves she has to cuff at the wrists to fit properly. This is a slightly more familiar version of Karina but not entirely.

“I want to talk about what happened. The night of the ballet.”

“Kay, maybe⁠—”

“No. I want to. It’s the right place to start.”

What will have been the point in coming here if I refuse to hear her out? There’s no use dancing around the subject any longer. I don’t know what I want out of this meeting but maybe a little bit of peace and a deeper understanding will be enough for now.

I give a curt nod and she steels herself with a deep breath before continuing.

“After we got married, things changed. It would bother him if I wore certain clothes or spent too much time with my friends on the weekends. It bothered if I was reading too much and not giving him enough attention. At one point, he didn’t even like it if I stayed the night with our grandparents. Brent had always been an overprotective boyfriend and a little needy too. I dismissed it because in my head, it didn’t seem out of the ordinary. Yet, those familiar behaviors masked and eventually introduced new ones.

“He became jealous of my career and upset by all the time I spent with my students. Once, he accused me of flirting with one of the other faculty members and I laughed in his face. I thought he was joking and then he threw an encyclopedia across the room. I realized then that he wasn’t.”

“This all happened within the first year?”

“This all happened within the first six months.” She rubs her temple. “By the time I flew out to see you for your birthday, I was thinking about ending things. Part of the reason why the argument over him being jealous escalated was because he’d been pressuring me to start a family and I wasn’t ready. I think it was probably the worst argument we ever had. He wanted me to get my IUD removed and I said no. When he threw the encyclopedia it was like a million alarm bells going off at once. He packed his things and spent a few days with his parents and then the week after, I flew to Barcelona to see you.”

“You left early. You were supposed to stay a few days more and you didn’t.”

“Brent and I got into an argument over the phone. He accused me of—” She scoffs and shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. He was jealous. Jealous of the mailman, of my colleagues, of the guy at the pizzeria. Alejandro called me the day before your birthday to make sure I was still coming and Brent flipped. Thought I was making arrangements to see someone behind his back. Alejandro got on the phone with him and chewed his ear off.”

My hand stills just before the cup reaches my lips. “I didn’t know that.”

“I was so humiliated I begged Alejandro not to say anything. I even threatened not to go if he told you. I was so embarrassed.” Her cheeks redden and she shakes her head. “I left early because I couldn’t take it anymore. Brent and I got into an argument over the phone and I decided right then and there that I was going to leave him. I refused to live that way for the next sixty years of my life.”

“So why did you stay with him? You came back home and then nothing changed.”

“We did separate…for a little while at least. He begged me to reconsider. And I mean begged. Fell to his knees at my parents’ house during a summer barbecue and wouldn’t leave until I agreed to speak with him. He tried everything. Flowers, gifts, phone calls. He even started going to therapy.” She rolls her eyes a bit. “I didn’t waver. There were moments where I thought I would but I never did. Everything changed when I found out about my dad.”

My uncle Rogelio cheating on my aunt Paula was devastating for Karina. I remember when our family talked about their impending divorce but it never came to fruition.

“I was distraught and vulnerable and he was there for me. I was such an idiot.”

I reach out and squeeze her hand. “No you weren’t.”

“I was. I finally had him out of my house and out of my life. And then I let him back in.” She covers her face with her hands and struggles to steady her breathing. When she lowers them again, anguish has been replaced by fury. “I was going through possibly the worst moment in my life and he swoops right in to play the white knight. I must’ve been such easy prey to him. Every day and every night, he was there. He was there when my mom cried in my arms after finding out and he was there during the few quiet moments I could steal for myself and cry on my own. He supported my brothers and made sure they didn’t feel the brunt of it. I actually believed he had changed or maybe, I wanted to believe he had.

“For the first time, I saw my Brent again. The one I fell in love with. Someone who was kind and empathetic and helped me to carry the burdens in my life. And when I thought about leaving him again I realized I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to my mom or my brothers who had to come to rely on him. They loved Brent. They trusted him. How could I break their hearts and our family a second time?”

“Kay, you are not a martyr. You don’t have to fall on your sword just to make everyone else happy. Look at where it’s gotten you.” I say. “Look at what he’s done to you.”

“Dahlia—”

“Will you ever dance again?”

Her mouth falls shut.

“After what happened the night of the ballet. Have you danced? Are you even able to?”

Shards of amber swim in a sea of silver when she looks at me. Her gaze is drowning in it. “I…”

“You said you wanted to talk about it. Maybe we should.”