Page 65 of No Merciful Corruption

We stop at the corner of Madison and I look at her as we wait for the light to change. She looks out of place in borrowed clothes from Lyss and hair so long it’s hard to recognize her.

“You aren’t a stressor, Karina. I want you to stay with me.”

She twists her fingers nervously. “My being pregnant isn’t your problem, Dee. You don’t have to turn your life upside down to help. This is my mistake. I can take care of myself.”

I study her for a long while. “Of course you can. But why should you, when I’m here?”

Her head whips around but the light changes. I cross and our footsteps hit the concrete in tandem.

“I was thinking that maybe you should move in. For the time being at least. Right now, you can keep your pregnancy a secret but in a few months everyone will know. I doubt you want your parents or our grandparents to know. At least not until your divorce is finalized.”

“I filed the paperwork yesterday. Alejandro went with me.”

“I know. He told me.”

She chews on the inside of her cheek. We make a left turn and continue walking until we reach the park. Somehow twenty blocks passed us by without either of us realizing it.

Karina’s voice wavers with uncertainty. “I was thinking…I have an appointment first thing Monday morning. I thought you might want to go with me.”

“Shouldn’t the father of your child be going?” My response comes out harsher than intended.

She bristles. “Don’t say it like that. Like it’s something dirty.”

I try deflecting. “So you’re really going to keep it?”

“If by it you mean my child then yes.” She lets out a huff of irritation. “Believe me, I’ve agonized over this decision more than you know.”

“I’m sorry if I sound harsh. I’m just worried about you.” I say, gentling my tone. “I really do know what you’re going through.”

She falters and it takes her a second to regain her footing. She turns to look at me. “Oh Dee…I’m such an idiot. I completely forgot.”

I wave a hand in dismissal. “It was almost eight years ago. I’d be surprised if you remembered.”

“What was it like? When you were pregnant?”

“It was completely different for me, Kay. I was a teenager and Papi almost killed me. He smacked me so hard I still hear a rattling in my brain every once in a while from all the screws he knocked loose.”

She covers her mouth. “Dee, that’s not funny.”

“It isn’t but it’s true. I don’t believe in hitting your kids but I can’t say I didn’t deserve it.” I say wryly.

“Do you ever regret it?”

“Never. I don’t even think about it. Having an abortion was the best thing I ever did for myself. I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to be pregnant my senior year of high school. Can you imagine me with a kid right now? Poor thing would be more fucked up than I am.”

“Don’t say that. I think you’ll be a great mother one day.”

“Exactly. One day.” I tell her. “One day was not me giving birth at seventeen and raising a child with some guy I dated in high school. One day is years from now. Married and happy.”

“To Alejandro?” she asks curiously.

I almost laugh. “Who else if not him?”

“I thought I’d have children with Brent one day.”

I steal a glance at her from my peripheral and a hand travels to her lower abdomen, grazing the still flat space there, before her arm drops to her side again.

“I still can’t believe Diego’s the baby’s father.” I blurt out.