Page 41 of Where Broken Wings Fly

Silence stretched and I was content to end it at that. I had given the earth my honesty, I had let myself place a mirror to my soul and finally address what I had harboured in my chest for days.

Raegan, on the other hand, was not content with it ending there. The silence had not been from him cutting our conversation short, but it had been to gather the words that he needed to respond.

“What does that mean?’

I let out a small breath as I finally peeled my eyes open, pushing up onto my palms and twisting awkwardly so that I could see him. He had flipped from laying on his back to sitting down, his legs folded in front of him as he stared at me.

“I lived in a stagnant state. I felt no joy, dreamed no dreams, hoped for nothing but the strength to wake the next morning. I was so filled with this dark dread, this heaviness around me that held me back.”

Normally, when I told people about my experiences, their faces changed into the same expression. Shock, mixed with pity in the softness of their eyes, sorrow for me and mourning a life that I was still living.

Not Raegan, though. He didn’t look at me like I was some broken thing in need of repair. He didn’t offer me words to stitch up wounds that didn’t need stitching. His eyes hardened, his jaw finally freed of the permanent clench that he held onto it with.

“Hmm,” he purred, “I understand.”

I frowned at him. How could he understand? He was the Prince of not one, but two kingdoms, residing in a realm of magic and excellence that I would never truly be able to look at with anything but awe. He wore a tight smirk most days, his eyes bright and alive, his stride strong and confident.

Yet how many people had said the same about me over the years? How many people had told me I ‘hide it so well’, how many had said that they ‘had no idea’?

It was there, beneath him, if I truly let myself look. There were the familiar dark shadows beneath his eyes that one could credit to his sharp cheekbones, but they told me another tale. There was the slight unfurling of his body when he thought no one was around, the way that all of that energy required to look strong and proud would dissipate as if it had not ever been there.

Maybe Raegan truly did understand. Maybe he didn’t. But for a little while, I would let myself believe the former.

“You seem different, here.”

I was prepared for him to shut me down again, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled his knees to his chest and resigned to watching me from where he set his chin. “I feel different here.”

A truth. A real, genuine truth. No smirk, no fox eyes, no lethal glare that could decimate.

I went to say something, but he spoke first. “It’s not that I feel bad in Choilltean. It’s just that I feel alive here.”

Furthering my frown, I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Anything that came to mind could easily be considered insulting to one or both of his kingdoms, so I resorted to staying quiet.

“You are not the only coward here, Olivia.” He smiled, raw and vulnerable. “My duty and my heart live on opposite sides of me, and I cannot decide which one I should let win.”

I had nothing to offer him. Only rawness and vulnerability in return. “My best friend died a few months ago. And with her, the last sliver of hope for me. My last chance at reprieving my soul and seeking a way out of this permanent darkness. Until your pixies found me.”

His left brow twitched even though his face pinched. “Maybe my solution resides in the human world, then?”

We both laughed, though we shared the same disbelief that we were capable of laughing together instead of at one another.

Finally, Raegan rose to his feet. He dusted off some seeds from his pant legs and extended a hand to me. Cautiously, I let him heave me up to my feet.

“I hope that you are able to find the light again, Olivia.”

I didn’t want to admit that I was afraid I already had, but that there was an hourglass attached to it.

“And I hope that a day comes where your duty can fall in line with your heart.”

Raegan cracked a small smile and bowed his head at me.

Just like I knew I already found my solution, I was inclined to believe that Raegan already knew his, too.

16

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Raegan didn’t let me join the next morning at breakfast during which Diarmuid announced their decision to him. Something about me being too much of a distraction with my “foolery” with Aisling and Rory, whatever that meant.