Page 123 of Why Broken Wings Fray

Raegan had given Killian tasks, the moment Olivia fell and the King craved nothing but blood. He had given everyone tasks. They fell short at kill the Rachainn before they can flee, help me transport her back to the castle, and–

“We’ve located Urram,” Killian continued, sighing. “He is… He is not well, Raegan. He is in a bad way. And he is not cooperating – he will not allow the healers near him. If they do not start on him soon, I fear he will follow her.”

Raegan let out a slow sigh as he turned his focus from the woman beside him to his closest friend standing near the exit. Killian flinched as the heat of the King’s gaze found him, but managed to remain as still as possible. Raegan’s head took to a slant, a somewhat predatory motion that was furthered by his slow blinking and unrelenting expression.

“It would not be uncommon. Their caraid bond was strong, stronger than most within Saoghal. It is a shock that he has not followed her already.”

Killian only nodded, keeping his eyes strictly on Raegan.

“You don’t have to do that,” Raegan said. “You may look at her.”

“I can’t,” Killian whined. “That is not her.”

Raegan swallowed, trying not to look too closely at the unkempt appearance of Killian or the red, swollen skin beneath his eyes.

“She was life and I refuse to see her as anything but.”

“Then you are ignorant,” Raegan growled. “There was more to her than just that.”

Killian nodded slowly, still unwilling to look at Olivia. “The others want you to sentence me.”

“Must you do this now?”

“Will there be another chance? Do you actually plan on leaving her, Raegan?”

The King snarled, his body stiffening.

“That’s what I thought. So I wanted to say goodbye to you, my brother, before the chance was gone altogether.”

King Raegan did not care for this. He did not care for the fact his brother had abandoned him and fled to the other side of the conflict. He did not care that he had not returned. He did not care to sentence him, nor did he care if Killian remained. He simply did not care. Not about anything, not anymore.

King Raegan had officially broken. The gods had finally broken him.

Raegan turned back to Olivia, his thoughts quickly lost once more. “I know that you stand there and judge me.”

“I wasn’t–”

“I am done, Killian. I feel it within me, this strange sort of death that is slow but is spreading, like all that I was is simply decaying.”

“Don’t say that—”

Raegan’s whole body stiffened. “I didn’t get to tell her I loved her, Killian. She never heard those three words from me. It was all that I was, all that I wanted to be, was loved by her and loving of her. And she never got to hear it.”

“I, too, loved her,” Killian admitted, causing the King to freeze in his rage. “I will not lie to you and claim that I did not. I am trying, so very hard, to survive this, Raegan. But you are not. And that is what terrifies me. I do not know what to do to help you.”

“I cannot be you. Maybe if I had, she wouldn’t be lying on this table before us.”

Killian shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I only mean that I have seen you go through a great many things, brother. I have seen you rise from them all, somehow. Yet this…” He took a deep breath. “I fear what is to become of you now, my friend.”

Raegan said nothing.

Because Raegan knew what would become of himself. He felt it within him the moment she went limp in his arms. He allowed it in as he watched the fight begin between his army and the Rachainn. He accepted it as he bathed her bloodied body and dressed her in the soft robes meant to comfort her upon her final resting place.

Raegan would change Saoghal.

He would take how they existed and rewrite the rules. He would stare the gods in the eyes if he must and snarl a curse at them.

He would not do it because he believed their ways needed to change. He would not do it because he thought like the Rachainn and believed in their cause.