Page 22 of Why Broken Wings Fray

“Not much. He seems well. He seems unbothered and confident.”

Why am I lying?

“Good.” He bit down on his lower lip, his eyes focused straight through me. “That’s good, right?”

“I guess.”

He took my hand in his once more, squeezing it as his gaze solidified on my face. “Please be careful, Olivia. Do not take unnecessary risks. I love my kingdom, and I love my King – but they are not worth it. Be safe.”

Before I could respond, Rory dropped my hand, pivoted on his heel, and disappeared into the stark shadows of night.

The whole walk back to the castle was the loneliest I had ever felt.

11

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I was depressed.

I admitted it, finally, as I found myself back in the guest-chambers that had somehow become my own room. Because of Raegan, apparently, but I didn’t have the energy to dissect that.

I was back in Saoghal yet I felt as heavy as ever, like my feet were in a quicksand of pure tar and every time I tried to adjust, every time I tried to fight my way to freedom, I was being dragged deeper and deeper.

By the time I got back to the room, I was already in a bad mood. After meeting with Rory again and feeling that natural flow of friendship that we had from day one, then tracking my way into the castle where my friends resided, I felt dirty. Like my soul would never quite recover from betraying both sides; in my dishonesty to Rory and my deceit of Raegan and Killian.

That tempered rage only furthered itself when I realized I had to get ready for dinner. In my short time in Saoghal, I had never gotten myself ready. It was always Niamh, arms full of junk that she proceeded to assault my hair and face with.

Running away from Saoghal over a year ago had allowed me to put her in a trunk in my chest, that I locked up tight and would never open again.

So this time, when I stood in the center of my room and looked around just as she had once looked around within a castle in a different kingdom, I felt that encroaching loneliness.

Eventually, I found myself sitting in the stool against one of the windows, staring at the blank space on the floor. There was a table in front of me, on which there were brushes and kohl, powders and blushes, but I couldn’t look at them. I certainly couldn’t think of using them.

I thought I only remained in that position for a few minutes, but what I later realized was an hour later, some knuckles rapped at my door several times. I didn’t answer, I just continued to stare at nothing down by my toes.

“Olivia?”

Raegan’s voice was the only thing capable of zapping me out of that trance. My spine suddenly straightened, my head upon it, and I blinked several times in the direction of that door. All the while, my chest was burning as if hot coal had been pushed into my lungs.

“Co–come in.”

The door creaked open, a noise so painfully irritating yet capable of sending a shiver down my spine, and a second later Raegan’s head popped into the room. After scanning the space and finding me tucked into a dark corner in a room full of windows, he frowned and entered the room completely, shutting the door behind him.

Every time I saw Raegan he simply became more grand. At this time his hair was thoroughly combed, detailed with intricate little braids throughout and completed by being half pulled up. There, his discrete piercings flashed just as a firefly buzzed past him.

He adjusted the length of his dark surcoat a few times, before clearing his throat and narrowing his eyes at me. “Dinner is about to start.”

“Okay,” I said as I crossed my hands in my lap, letting my eyes move off of him and to them instead.

“Do you wish to join us?”

“Yes.”

No matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t capable of keeping the entirety of his chuckle muffled. “Come then, little human. I shall escort you.”

“I’m…” My words trailed off as I stared at the brush at my side. “I’m not ready.”

I wasn’t even sure if what that excuse made any sense, as if my pixie friends cared whether or not my hair was brushed or my face was painted in powders.