Page 59 of Why Broken Wings Fray

But all of those thoughts were muted. All of those thoughts were numbed. All of those thoughts were drowned. Because what existed alongside them, what dwelled within my mind at all hours and left me unable to settle for anything else, was him.

All I could think about as I walked away from his chambers, taking the length of the hallway one pitiful slouch at a time, was the broken noise he made when I weaponized the very thing he used as a reason to keep me away.

Raegan was difficult to care for. He made it even harder most of the time, intentionally pushing at everyone around him until they were so far that he could blame it on the fact he was hard to love. Undeserving of love. Impossible to love. He wanted to prove to the gods themselves that everyone would decide he was not worth it.

And all I had done was confirm that for him.

27

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After a very pitiful wash composing mostly of an abrasive rag and too-cold water, followed by having to tuck myself into Cluaineach clothes – that airy, soft, silky material that sometimes felt too revealing – I was already too tired to try and endure a dinner with the rowdiest of pixies Saoghal had to offer.

~

I crept into the dining hall while Aisling and Shea took turns throwing things across the table, all of which was in an attempt to hit Killian as he ducked and growled in response. Liam, who I now recognized and sat a little farther down the table, was laughing at their antics all while Ciara, who sat across from him, shook her head and rolled her eyes over and over.

But I could always count on one person who would note my arrival, even if the world was burning behind him and he was collapsing into the chaos of it all. A pair of electrifying-green eyes snapped up from where they had been watching the rest, honing in on me almost immediately and making me grumble in defeat.

As I made the last few steps towards the table, I watched Raegan’s nostrils flare subtly, then he sighed and relaxed into his chair, his eyes pointing to the spare one that would yet again lodge me between him and Killian. With a huff, I walked farther down the table and took the seat next to Liam.

“Oh!” Liam exclaimed as I dragged the wooden contraption out and sat myself down in it. “I did not expect you to sit with me.”

The way he swallowed and sheepishly looked towards Raegan suggested that he didn’t want me sitting here, if it meant we earned the full extent of the King’s attention. But I didn’t care, I couldn’t sit in his vicinity and wonder if I smelled too much like Killian or too little like Raegan. So yes, I was using Liam as a diversion, but I also found I didn’t care much about that, either.

I didn’t really care about anything. Which wasn’t a great sign.

“Do tell us, Killian!” Aisling suddenly roared from where she sat, at least six bodies down from me. I tried with what little willpower I had not to listen in to their conversation, but my curiosity got the better of me and I leaned forward to see them better.

“It was good. Queen Tonn was incredibly hospitable, though I assume we have Olivia to thank for that.”

I wanted to shake my head at Killian because now every pair of eyes was on me. Including Raegan’s, which was complete with his infamous smirk that I wanted to wipe off of his face.

“I trust you gave her the necklace?”

The tone he used to ask such a simple question sent a shiver right along my spine that began in my hairline and spread out amongst every bone that would take it. It was Raegan, but the Raegan that reminded me of Killian’s warnings, of Rory’s reminders.

“Yes.” I shut my mouth so quickly after speaking that I nearly bit my tongue off. Only to realize I had more to say. “Why? Is it going to choke her in her sleep, or something?”

Shea spat out her drink, which if my nose was any good at identifying smells seemed to be nectar. Killian snarled as he wiped the many droplets off of his face.

Raegan kept his eyes on me, the pointed, fox-like shape that both thrilled and terrified me. “Or something.”

“That’s not funny, Raegan,” Shea warned. “We have enough turmoil within Saoghal without you two throwing around death-threats about the Queen of Uisge over dinner.”

Raegan shrugged, one corner of his mouth held up. I did what I assumed only pixies could do, and bared my teeth at him. Now that humoured the King, his face creasing against his eyes.

I never thought that the simple grooves in one’s skin could be so intriguing. As I came to know his face in a new way, a far more intimate way, I knew which lines came and went.

“It was a genuine question. I struggle to believe that Raegan offered the necklace out of the goodness of his heart.”

Only the brief twitch of his left eye gave me any indication as to if I hurt his feelings or not. I relished in the fact that I had frustrated him to the same level that he had frustrated me. Except he handled these things with far more grace than I did, and simply grinned at me.

“I happen to be very generous.” Then his eyes narrowed in a way that made me home in on his words, his voice, his lips. His intention. Because his voice turned into something sultry and smooth as he purred, “I simply enjoy nothing more than to give, give, give…”

It was Killian’s turn to choke, this time on what I was sure was a piece of celery. Shea ducked out of the way of the weaponized shrapnel of green things. All I could do was growl under my breath.

How Raegan was able to continue to stare at me, as if we were the only two people in the world and he intended on keeping it that way, I would never know. I was eerily aware of every pair of eyes and every pair of ears as he started to saunter his way into that natural charisma of his, that edge that bordered flirting if pixies did such a thing.