Page 86 of Why Broken Wings Fray

39

____________________

I was in a blind fury as I stormed away from dancing and the music, my head pounding and my world spinning as the harsh reality of being in a realm with the fair folk continued to crash over me.

I managed to find my way back into the castle, take the stairs three at a time, and level out on the fifth floor – and floor I had yet to find myself on. There, pacing the length of the hallway with one of my hands around my throat and the other across my mouth, I tried to think. I tried to think as Raegan would think.

“Only fools think that they understand the prince.”

Had Killian been right, that first day that I asked him about Raegan? Had the truth so obviously been before me this whole time and I had numbed myself to it?

Raegan had claimed what was strong between us was the ceadan bond, nothing more, nothing less. Did the ceadan bond make me turn away from the things that he did? Was that why Killian and Shea could so easily forgive him when he did cruel things?

My whole world was closing in on me, suffocating me, so my only option was to brace my hand against the closest wall and hyperventilate.

Great.

Close to heaving, I remained in that position – somewhat curled over and about ready to faint – for far too long. My heartbeat was in my ears and my stomach was churning, threatening the one swig of nectar that had hit my stomach like an anvil in the ocean.

“Here,” a voice, familiar yet unfamiliar as I spiralled away from reality, said as a body approached me. The light within my eyes shadowed as they pressed closer, as their one arm wrapped around my waist and the other grabbed my shaking arm. Carefully, one step at a time, my nameless and faceless saviour maneuvered me out of the hallway and into the closest room.

The door shut behind us, the sun bled through the glass-walls, and I finally took a deep enough breath that I was able to look up.

Of course, it was the one person who I likely needed to be far away from right now.

“Are you alright?” Raegan asked, his hand moving for one of the tendrils that tickled at my brow. I swatted him away, taking a large step backwards and away from him.

“Olivia?” His face was pinched so tightly, the confusion pressed into the creases of them, that I felt a pang of pity for him. Only for a moment.

“W-what are you… What is tonight? What is it really?”

His look of shock lasted only about the span of one of my rapid heart beats, before he sighed and rolled his shoulders back. “It is Imbolc. Has no one told you about Imbolc?”

“I’m not in the mood for this, Raegan,” I seethed, bracing myself against the nearest wall as my knees threatened to give up on me. He took a hesitant step towards me, his arms out as if he planned to help, only to realize that I was serious.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed if you don’t know what it is–”

“Raegan!” My body was still shaking, except now it wasn’t overwhelm but anger that made my bones rattle. “Why is the Queen here? I know you have plans. Where is Killian?”

“Killian?” he scoffed. “Probably busying himself with the females–”

“Don’t,” I growled. “Don’t you dare lie to me.”

The softness and openness that had been dominant on Raegan’s face the last few days dissipated, leaving only the King glaring down at me. “I will do what I must.”

“No,” I begged. “No, not this again. Please – please. Just tell me.”

He shook his head, over and over, before he turned away. “You need not be concerned with anything, Olivia. Enjoy tonight, I beg of you, and leave it at that.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It is fair and it is what it is.”

My heart was deflating in my chest, leaving me empty and broken. “It will always be this way, won’t it?”

He stared at me, absent of all thought.

“You claim it is the ceadan bond and I, finally, agree with you. Why else do I let you do this? Why else do you think it’s okay to do this to me?”