Page 101 of My Notorious Highlander

"Saints, lass." He pulled her to him, just as disappointed as she was. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head.

He kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Stay here with me tonight."

She nodded.

He would get her with child or die trying, but 'twas no hardship. Making love to her was like heaven on earth.

But, once he left, he feared he might go mad without her.

∞∞∞

The next day, Torrin rode away from Dunnakeil with a heavy heart. He was not looking forward to going home to Munrick without Jessie. He'd told her he would return in a fortnight, or as soon as possible. He had to believe something would change her mind between now and then. Either she would be with child, or she would miss him so badly, she would agree to go with him.

He could just imagine her riding with him now, commenting on how beautiful the purple drifts of bell heather were upon the green and rocky hills. 'Twas a warm, sunny day, reminding him of the unforgettable days they'd spent on the beaches around Durness. Aye, the best days of his life, so far. He hoped better ones were to come… if only she would marry him.

Dirk had sent a dozen of his clansmen with them because 'twas unsafe for only a few people to travel alone with McMurdo and MacBain still roaming about. Some of the MacKays with them were the ones who had buried Nolan, and they were going to show Torrin the gravesite in the small wood south of Munrick.

Iain rode beside Torrin, glancing at him from time to time.

"Stop worrying about me," Torrin said.

Iain smirked. "I'm not worried about you."

His friend was lying, but he expected that.

"I ken you're disappointed," Iain said. "In your situation, I would be, too. But when you return to Dunnakeil in a couple of weeks, you may well find that she is with child and eager to marry you."

"I hope so." But he also knew there were no guarantees.

∞∞∞

Since Torrin had left the day before, Jessie had tried to keep herself busy by helping Isobel oversee the serving staff, especially in the mornings when Isobel wasn't feeling well. But Jessie was often distracted. She thought about all the places she'd had conversations with Torrin, or more intimate encounters.

Now, she found herself in the third floor bedchamber with the broken window where she and Torrin had one of their first conversations of any length. The pigeon had scared her and Torrin had rushed to her rescue. She should've known then that he was honorable and heroic.

She stared out at the view over Balnakeil Bay and the golden sand beach where they'd talked, wrestled, and practiced archery, the distant cliffs on each side, protecting the bay. Cliffs that looked far more ominous now, for she'd almost lost her life out there.

With the MacBains and McMurdo skulking about, she couldn't walk on the beach anymore. She missed it. But she missed Torrin far more. It felt like he was a thousand miles away now. Tears burned her eyes, and she prayed he would be safe and return soon.

The sky was heavily overcast and the water of the bay dark, so unlike the sunny day she'd spent with Torrin out there. She still couldn't believe she'd been stealthy enough to knock him to the ground. She smiled, tears in her eyes, remembering the priceless look of shock on his face. 'Twas the day he'd first kissed her… and the day she'd fallen in love with him. Though she hadn't realized it until later.

Why did life have to be so difficult? Why couldn't she simply marry him, conceive and give birth like a normal woman? She would give anything to be normal, and the type of wife he needed.

He was the best of men, accepting, understanding and always affectionate with her. He hadn't faltered in his pursuit of her. Weeks ago, when she'd seen him on the opposite side of that ravine, barely able to stand, his clothing drenched in his own blood, while Haldane held the knife to her throat, she'd known then that Torrin's heart was true. And that he would give his life for her if he had to.

But to marry him would be too much of a risk. If she were to do that and then be unable to provide him an heir, she would be devastated. If only she knew what the future held. She could certainly envision a joyful future with him. She could dream of making love to him every night, and several months from now, holding a healthy newborn babe in her arms, while he smiled proudly and kissed her.

But 'twas only a dream.

∞∞∞

After spending the night in Scourie, Torrin, Iain and the rest of their party drew closer to Munrick that evening. 'Twas only a couple of miles away. They had been traveling for two days through rough, rocky terrain, and Torrin was sick of riding. All the men and horses having to be ferried across a loch had also slowed their progress.