Page 19 of Anything But Lonely

“What ‘job’ has you going to meet Liam in Atlanta?” Rumi asks, using her fingers to put air quotes around “job”. “Assuming that it isn’t just a coincidence that he’s going to be there at the same time you’re supposedly flying out there.” Her brown hair is tucked behind her ears, her big blue eyes going from me to her husband, where he stands with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall of Ava and Anderson’s living room.

I know what she’s thinking.

I’m running.

Just like she told me not to.

It’s probably what all three of them are thinking.

Hell, it’s probably what Anderson in the other room is thinking.

It’s sure as fuck what I’m thinking.

“Cross My Heart’s lead singer needs a nanny,” I finally say.

The room goes quiet, aside from the low music playing on the record player in the corner of the room—one of Georgie’s vinyls filling the loaded silence.

“Well, that’s not what I thought you were going to say,” Ava announces.

I snort as Rumi and Ava join each other in laughter.

Both of them, even Jack and Anderson, know about my relationship—or lack thereof—with Liam. They all think it’s more of an on-again, off-again type of situation between two people who don’t want to fully commit, and I’ve never corrected them. I let them think it’s more complicated than it is. That way, I don’t have to explain that we’re just two friends who fuel each other’s need to dissociate once in a while.

“Liam is actually the one who told me about the job,” I explain. “He said that Mateo is bringing his son on tour for the last two legs and needs someone to help him out, so I called him and told him I was available.”

“Just like that?” my brother challenges.

“Just like that.”

He looks like he wants to say more, but we all know he’s a man of very few words. I know his mind is turning, finding similarities between the two of us.

He’s done a lot of healing since losing his best friend, and all that healing has helped him deal with losing our mom. That and having his future wife and daughter to lean on.

And good for him.

Being all healthy and shit.

I’m happy for him. Truly.

But it just means he won’t understand why I can’t stay here.

Not anymore.

“So what?” Ava starts, “You just fly down there and start traveling with the band?”

“Pretty much.”

I don’t explain that I don’t exactly have the job yet, or that I bought my one-way plane ticket before I even called Mateo this morning. I tap the screen of my phone, checking the time. “I better go finish packing,” I announce, standing up. “I have a plane to catch.”

“Wait, you’re leaving today?” Rumi asks as she stands. “Emerson, you promised me you’d take a week off work. It’s barely been three days.”

I turn to face her. “I’m okay, babe. Or, like I told Ava, I will be. But I need—” my voice catches the same way it did when I was on the phone with Mateo, moments away from breaking down and begging him for the chance to get away from all of this.

I need this.

With a slight shake of my head, as if to clear the thought away, I continue, “I’ll be okay.”

Rumi watches me for a moment, like she’s trying to figure out what she can say to make me stay before she realizes that I’m leaving either way. She pulls me in for a hug. “We’ll miss you,” she whispers.