Page 73 of Anything But Lonely

Ava sighs over the phone. “My sister has really been wanting a job, for some reason, even though she’s only fourteen, and I told her she has her whole life to work,” Ava explains, “so she’s been helping one of our neighbors with their cat. They’re on vacation until tomorrow, so she walks over to make sure the cat has food and water, plays with it a little bit, and then comes home. They’re paying her like $50 a day.”

“A day?”

“Right!”

After each of us says how we need to find that sort of easy money, we say our goodbyes as I exit my therapist’s parking lot, feeling lighter than I have in months.

Maybe today is one of those “good days” Mateo was talking about.

The ones where you aren't completely consumed by the grief.

Today feels manageable. And that’s something I haven’t been able to say in a while.

When I get to Ava’s, Rumi is already there. When she passes me my coffee, I can see the muted colors on her fingertips, as well as the few streaks of paint in Evee’s hair from where she plays with some toys on Ava’s living room floor.

The three of us fall into easy conversation, catching up on Ava’s postpartum journey and all of Georgie’s eighth-grade drama she’s been sharing with Ava. Rumi fills us in on her newest ideas for the next children’s book she’s planning on publishing once Ava comes back to Hey Honey’s and Rumi’s run as the interim manager is over.

“Your turn, Em,” Rumi says, taking a sip of her chai. She leans forward against the kitchen counter, briefly glancing over at Evee before her eyes land on me.

I take in a breath, exhaling it out as a sigh. My knee-jerk reaction is to brush over the updates in my life, a small voice in my head saying it would be easier to just re-route the conversation—another voice reminding me that I should feel guilty about sharing what’s going on with me because it means confirming that life does go on, even without my mom.

But I remember something Dr. Hannah said today in our first session: how healing isn’t linear, and actually participating in my own life doesn’t mean that I miss my mom any less.

So I go against all instinct. “Tour starts back up tomorrow, so I’ll be back on the road with Crew until the spring,” I explain, trying to remember all the details of these last two legs of the tour. “Then we have a week or so off, and then it’s go, go, go for May and June, and then I’m back home for good.”

I ignore the disappointment in my gut at the thought of this tour coming to an end—especially after these last two months and knowing how easy it is to fall into a routine centered around Crew, too busy with him to remember all of my bullshit.

Shaking the feelings away, I add, “And that’s about all that’s going on with me.”

“Jack mentioned Mateo was bringing Crew by the station today,” Rumi prompts, and I see Ava’s head whip in my direction out of the corner of my eye.

My stupid brother needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.

“You don’t say,” Ava offers, a smirk on her freckled face. She glances at the baby monitor sitting on the counter before settling her chin in her hand.

“Yeah, Crew wanted to come see the station and the ‘real-life firefighters,’” I explain, trying to keep my voice even and my tone nonchalant.

The two of them already think I’m crushing on Mateo, and I can’t afford to give them any more ammunition.

“It’s a good day for it,” Ava says, taking a sip of her iced latte.

I raise a brow. “Why?”

“They’re doing their annual Survive Alive House today. Anderson’s not due back from paternity leave until next month, but he still wanted to go in today to help since it’s always such a fun day for the station.”

“What is it?” I ask.

“It’s an event they do for kids to learn about fire safety,” Rumi chimes in. “The firefighters teach them what to do if there’s a fire. Like how to check a door for heat, how to stay low beneath the smoke, how to call for help, and where to meet once they get outside.”

She smiles as Ava continues, “They have this simulated burning house the kids get to walk through, so they can actually practice everything they learn. They’ve been doing it for years. It’s usually a field trip schools go on, but I think it was Anderson’s uncle who made it an annual thing for the community when he became the fire chief. ”

“Jack got to the station early this morning to prepare everything for it,” Rumi adds.

I look between my two friends, not even bothering to hide my confusion. “But Jack didn’t say anything about something happening at the station today.”

Rumi shrugs. “Huh. Weird.” The smile tugging at the corner of her mouth gives her away.

I snort. “The fucker is an even bigger instigator than the two of you.”