Page 23 of Earthly Ties

The officer nods. “Detective Barrett. Someone named,” he squints at his notepad, “Gilda Frederick called us to do a welfare check on Lucy Monae a couple of months ago, and we’ve had a missing persons case open for her since.”

“She did?” Esther and I ask at the same time. I never expected Gilda to care enough to actually look into where I went. Every time Esther asks about it, Gilda acts like my absence is a personal insult.

“Yeah. Is that the head of your department?”

Esther nods. “Have you found anything about Lucy, or where she could have gone? There wasn’t…a body in there, was there?”

To my surprise and confusion, the officer shakes his head. “We haven’t ruled anything out, but we don’t have any evidence that this was a homicide.”

“Oh. Well, I hope she’s okay!” Esther’s mouth twists into a fragile smile, like she’s fighting against the hope that maybe I’m alive somehow. “I’ve been so worried about her!”

“You have?” I ask, turning to her. I don’t know why that surprises me. She has obviously been wondering where I am, but to hear her tell that to a stranger… I don’t know how to feel. I hate that I’ve given her cause for worry.

Detective Barrett shakes his head. “Nothing concrete. When’s the last time you saw her?”

Esther straightens her shoulders. “June twenty-fifth at ten in the morning. I live in the apartment across the alley from her, and she used to water her plant after our department meetings on Fridays. After that, I didn’t see her, but she still signed into work until July first. She never signed in on July second, and she wasn’t at our department meeting that day.”

“Damn, East. That’s…detailed.” If I wasn’t haunting her, I might be creeped out that she had my plant watering schedule memorized, when I didn’t even know we were neighbors. But I’m a total goner for her, so my cheeks only burn with a bashful smile. My dream girl has been this worried? About me? After four months, I know she cares, that she still watches for me. Yet somehow I still struggle to believe that she’s not just concerned because I’m the reason she’s drowning in work.

Perhaps it’s because I am far more obsessive than she is in this situation. I’ve been her paranormal stalker for four months; I don’t exactly have the moral high ground here. I have become intimately aware of her in ways I never expected and can’t stop thinking about, like her crooked bottom teeth, how she dances while she dries her hair and pretends the diffuser is a mic, and how she wears rainbow boxers every Friday. So, really, who is the creep here?

The officer nods as Esther talks, taking her name and contact information in his phone, along with having her confirm the dates again. “That lines up. The last footage we have of her is at a liquor store on July first, then picking up a delivery in the foyer of her building, but the cameras never show her leaving her apartment again. There’s no sign of forced entry. Nor any text messages or phone calls or any purchases, other than automatic payments coming from her bank account since. No body has been found.”

“Boxed wine and takeout are the last signs of my existence?” I wrinkle my nose. “No, that tracks. I don’t know what I expected.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you all of that. It’s internal only.” Barrett scratches his head. “So, what of hers are you taking? If you don’t mind, I’m just going to document it in case her next of kin asks for it, whenever we find out who that is. We tried to hold the apartment as evidence, but her landlord successfully filed an eviction, so there’s not much I can do since there’s no sign of foul play, and her case doesn’t fall under Pox protection laws. You wouldn’t happen to know who her next of kin is, would you?”

Esther shakes her head. “No. We didn’t talk outside of work. She was pretty quiet about her personal life.”

“That’s what that Glinda lady said, too.” Barrett tucks his pen and notepad into his pocket. “She said Miss Monae’s emergency contact had passed recently himself.”

“Gilda, but call her Dr. Frederick,” Esther and I correct him simultaneously.

Esther adds, “Also, Dr. Monae, not Miss.”

“Thanks, East.” I listed Cash as my emergency contact on my application for the adjunct position. I couldn’t bear to take his name off when I applied for his old job, and it’s not like I had anyone else to list. He and his wife were so understanding; I don’t know what I did to deserve his friendship, but I’m glad he was there for me. That he doesn’t have to deal with all of this. That I’ll never have to figure out who else to put as my emergency contact.

“Gotta find the small things in death to appreciate,” I murmur.

“Right. So, can I take a couple of pictures of that box you have?” He gestures behind Esther with his phone.

Esther nods, stepping out of the way. “Sure. I might put some of it back. I just need her course notes and maybe save some personal mementos for her, in case she comes back. Or her family, if you ever find them. I was going to put the rest back out here. Oh, and I’m keeping this.” She drapes my black dress on the box around the dehydrated purple oxalis.

The officer shakes his head with a sigh. “Ma’am, I don’t think she’s coming back. It’s been three months. She’s either dead, or she doesn’t want to be found.”

Esther looks crestfallen. I want to comfort her, but the best I can do is mimic patting her shoulder. “Don’t worry, East, I’m okay.” I pause. “Well, I’m dead, so ‘okay’ is a stretch. But honestly, it’s fine. I’m fine! I promise! Death isn’t that much different than life.”

The officer seems to realize he’s stuck his foot in his mouth again. He winces. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to be callous, but I’ve been doing this long enough to have a sense.”

If I can read between the lines, he’s already given up on trying to solve my case.

I wish I was surprised, but I am a Black woman without any friends or family to advocate for me. Esther can hope all she wants, but there was never any hope for my case. There’s not even hope they’ll ever find my body, or that I’ll figure out what happened to me. I’m honestly impressed he’s even pretending to try.

Swimming Lessons

“We should go for a swim.”

Stretched out against a naked Esther as they lay swaddled by the cloud blanket, Lucy crooked an eyebrow at the suggestion. Head buried against her shoulder, she looked up at Esther. Their legs were tangled together in the nest of clouds, cradling their bodies closer to each other.